comedy

SWIMMING WITH MEN

Cert 12A 97mins Stars 3

Dip a big toe into the feel good waters of this very British comedy.

Rob Brydon plays an accountant whose midlife crisis sees him leave his wife and teenage son, and seek refuge in the arms of a synchronised swimming team comprised of middle aged men.

Brought together by the pointlessness of existence, they find themselves unexpectedly competing in the unofficial World championship in Milan.

It’s kept afloat on bubbles of charm by the likeable and familiar cast, which includes Jane Horrocks, Downton’s garrulous Jim Carter, and This Is England’s Thomas Turgoose.

Best in show is Charlotte Riley as the team’s instructor, whose drill sergeant manner is all the more ferocious for using her native Teesside accent.

Oliver Parker’s direction keeps everything fluid, and it’s played in the same tone as his previous work such Dad’s Army and Johnny English Reborn.

So it’s heart is always in the right place, even if the chaps’ arms and legs frequently aren’t.

 

PATRICK

Cert PG 94min Stars 1

The spirit of Bridget Jones lives on in this madly derivative and disposable shaggy dog story which is very much the runt of the British comedy litter.

Sarah is a London singleton who unexpectedly inherits a pug called Patrick from her wealthy grandmother.

However despite her reluctance and after recovering from a wave of canine chaos, Sarah finds her love life and career improving with Patrick around.

The likeable Beattie Edmondson might be a decent actress when not being asked to do a pale imitation of Renee Zellweger with substandard material.

In real life she’s the daughter of comedians Adrian Edmondson and Jennifer Saunders, with the latter bumbling about on screen as Sarah’s fellow teacher.

Unapologetically influenced by the work of Four Weddings writer, Richard Curtis, there are lots of posh people saying things such as ‘bonkers’ and calling each other ‘pudding’.

It even has the cheek to include a clip from his Notting Hill among all the desperate and predictable nonsense.

THE SQUARE

Cert 15 151mins Stars 3

Dominic West takes time out from Tomb Raider to appear as a famous artist in this satirical Swedish drama.

Alongside him is Elisabeth Moss, fresh from her Emmy awarding winning turn in TV’s The Handmaid’s Tale.

As a journalist she has an affair with the smooth curator of a museum of modern art in Stockholm.

Played by Claes Bang, he finds life spiralling out of control as he tries to drum up media interest in his latest exhibition.

Winner of the prestigious Palme d’Or at the 2017 Cannes Film Festival, this is a lengthy exploration of contemporary Sweden society and the gap between its ideals and citizens’ behaviour.

Immaculately photographed, the script expresses its ideas through visual metaphor, but at the expense of drama. 

Mocking the moneyed metropolitan middle class, the most powerful moment comes during a fundraiser where wealthy patrons are assaulted by a semi-naked neanderthal performance artist.

I could have done with more of the monkeying about.

 

 

WONDER WHEEL

Cert 12A Stars 4

Kate Winslet has been grievously overlooked during awards season for her magnificent turn in Woody Allen’s dark period drama, his 48th film as director.

When even your leading lady distances herself from your movie for personal reasons, one suspects time’s up for Allen’s big screen career.

Allen’s work exists within its own little bubble, and it’s the small differences which separate his films from each other. For the most urban of directors, it’s almost alarming to find this one is set on the beach and filled with bold saturated colour.

In a welcome gender inversion, she plays the ‘Woody Allen’ character, a neurotic and romantically minded waitress having an affair with a younger lover.

Justin Timberlake is the hunky lifeguard on whom she projects a fantasy future together.

As ever in Allen’s films, when someone chooses to pursue a fantasy existence over harsh reality, tragic events occur. This is not one of Allen’s funny ones.

 

GAME NIGHT

Cert 15 99mins Stars 4

This riotous knockabout comedy sees an evening in get wildly out of hand.

Super competitive couple Annie and Max and their friends are invited to his brother’s posh pad to take part in a murder mystery game night.

Rachel McAdams has huge success playing off Jason Bateman’s trademark straight bat comic delivery.

With the ownership of a sports car at stake to drive forward the plot, the rule book is thrown away when the boundaries are changed.

Along with sibling rivalry, sexual jealously and general stupidity, there is gamesmanship and sledging. And as at a 1980’s football match, the cops get involved as it descends into violence, anger, punch ups, and bloodshed.

The script is very aware of how nonsensical it all is and scores a high average of daft laughs, helped by an enthusiastic and energetic cast.

They’re all great sports but as their characters would agree, taking part is nearly as important as winning.

 

 

MONSTER FAMILY

Cert PG  93mins Stars 1

An early contender for the worst family film of 2018, only the naughtiest kids should be exposed to this monstrously poor animated horror show.

A lovelorn Count Dracula orders a witch to magically transform a married mother of two  into a vampire so he can woo her.

Unfortunately her stupid bickering family are also changed into various legendary creatures such as Frankenstein’s monster, and they’re no best pleased.

Pratfalls and fart jokes pad out the script of this repetitive, joyless and charmless mind-numbing drivel.

It’s brought to zombified life by feasting on the creative blood of far superior films such as Pixar’s Incredibles and Adam Sandler’s Hotel Transylvania films, which have sequels out this summer.

Horrifyingly, this is even worse than Tom Cruise’s recent version of the Mummy. 

Emily Watson, Nick Frost, Celia Imrie, Jason Isaacs and Catherine Tate are the British voice talent putting a stake through the heart of their credibility for an easy payday.

 

PITCH PERFECT 3

Cert 12A 93mins Stars 2

The curtain call can’t come quickly enough for this desperately disappointing finale to a joyfully entertaining musical comedy series, which is now sadly out of tune.

It’s a cynical Christmas cash-in greatest hits compilation from the Barden Bellas, the all-girl acapella competitive choir.

After the first two films whistled up an astonishing global total of £301m from a total budget of £35m, the idea of getting the band back together one last time must have sounded like sweet music.

But with the troupe having graduated university, the tone deaf scriptwriters has no idea what to do with them. So the Bellas are sent to Europe to entertain US troops where they resort to making knowing jokes about themselves, and become embroiled in an action adventure espionage plot.

 Anna Kendrick has a lovely deadpan delivery as the lead Bella, and Rebel Wilson provides a filthy tongue as fan favourite, Fat Amy. But sadly everything else bar the singing falls very flat.

 

ROUGH NIGHT

Cert 15 Stars 2

From child actress to BAFTA winning Indie star and ass-kicking Marvel superhero,  Scarlett Johansson’s career has been a heady brew of success.

But this black comedy is very much the hangover.

She’s stars as an uptight aspiring politician joins four best friends for her hen party in Miami. When a stripper is accidentally killed, cocaine and alcohol make for some very poor decision making.

A cast including Zoe Kravitz and Kate McKinnon doe their best with a very weak script and though die hard fans of Johansson may enjoy it, everyone else is in for a rough night.

GIRLS TRIP

Cert 15 Stars 3

Queen Latifa, Jada Pinkett Smith, Regina Hall and Tiffany Haddish star as four friends in this raucous road trip comedy. Self-styled as the Flossy Posse, they reunite in New Orleans for a festival where they let it all hang out.

This caper took a respectable £105m on a budget of £21m, easily beating the similarly themed Scarlett Johansson girls night out movie which only took £36m on a £15m budget.

Far from feeling guilty over their bad behaviour, the disc version includes over an hour of crude deleted scenes and outtakes.

DOUBLE DATE

Cert 15 89mins Stars 3

Get the weekend started with this British comedy horror which offers shots of gore, sex and humour in roughly equal measure.

Michael Socha plays an idiot jack–the–lad tries to engineer the loss of his mates virginity. Danny Morgan is the guileless soul who turns thirty the next day and  is routinely humiliated for his poor physical condition. 

The quest for casual sex leads them to a bar where they identify two sisters as suitable conquests.

Kelly Wenham is impressively ripped as a kick boxing vamp while Georgia Groome is the sweet and sensitive young sibling. However the women have a butterfly fixation, daddy issues and their own agenda.

Soon events turn messy in a toxic rush of alcohol, drugs and violence, and complications arise when two of the four developing feelings for one another.

It’s much more than the town which ends up painted red in the energetic and bloody finale.