MY SPY

Cert 12A Stars 3

This silly, sweet and very self-aware espionage action comedy sees former wrestler Dave Bautista in his best leading role so far as a CIA secret agent taking on his toughest challenge.

A fan favourite from Marvel’s Guardian of the Galaxy films due to his dynamite dead pan delivery and a willingness to be the butt of jokes, he makes an entertaining double act with a streetwise 9 year old.

Utterly un-awed by her super-sized co-star, Chloe Coleman is a wonderfully confident charmer who plays the sarcastic and tech savvy young subject of a CIA surveillance operation.

She’s the estranged niece of a ruthless arms dealer who’s trying to get his hands on some plutonium.

There’s surrogate father-daughter bonding, ice skating, puppy dog shenanigans and the cold blooded treatment of a goldfish.

I enjoyed hanging out on the stakeout so much I was almost disappointed when the bad guys arrived for the explosive finale.

A far smarter and funnier film than the trailer suggests, I laughed far more than I thought I would and so will you.

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SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

Cert PG Stars 4

Nearly thirty years after taking the gaming world by storm, the world’s fastest alien hedgehog makes his film debut in this entertaining and appropriately fast-paced family action comedy.

Successfully meshing big budget Hollywood storytelling with Sonic’s playful spirit and core concept, it sees the cute and cuddly CGI critter having to collect his magic gold rings while battling the psychotic scientist, Dr Robotnik.

However in order to incorporate more relatable human characters, Sonic is dropped into our real live world, and the story is structured around a familiar and predictable ode to family, friendship, family and American small town life,

James Marsden is an agreeably amiable and comic presence as Tom, a good-natured small town sheriff with ambitions of proving himself on the mean streets of the big city.

He’s presented with the perfect opportunity when he meets the motor-mouthed Sonic who is need of taking to San Francisco which allows for some father and son-style bonding.

Voiced with enthusiasm and energy Ben Schwartz, Sonic’s epic expression of teenage loneliness and angst causes a power outage, which alerts the military to his presence and they send Dr Robotnik to investigate.

Played by Jim Carrey for whom it’s an overdue and welcome big screen return, his unique brand of deranged physical comedy is perfectly suited to the cartoon tone, and though his mania has marginally diminished with age, he still seems a biscuit short of barrel.

He’s heavily armed with mechanical gadgets which he transports around in a large black truck, which resembles the Batmobile’s angry big brother.

And the films best sequences are when we see the world from Sonic’s super fast view, with the humans seemingly frozen in time allowing him to cause merry mayhem.

My game-addicted 9 year old is going to love it, and so will yours.

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PLUS ONE

Cert 15 Stars 2

Featuring a dozen weddings and zero funerals, this millennial spin on the romcom is  laugh-light, derivative and strangely downbeat, and feels more like a sneering and mopey indie road trip drama than the classic When Harry Met Sally to which it owes a huge debt.

Jack Quaid and Maya Erskine star as singletons Ben and Alice, who team up as each other’s platonic plus one for the upcoming wedding season, in order to help each other find dates.

Despite much contrary evidence, the uptight Ben is described as cute, charming and funny, and being self-pitying and with his twice married dad is getting wed again, which encourages Ben’s self-pitying nature.

Alice is much more fun but in their directorial debut, writers Jeff Chan and Andrew Rhymer reduce her to being the conduit for Ben’s learning curve, meaning she has to be humiliated so he can grow as a person.

Few people seem to be having a good time, and nor was I.

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THE QUEEN’S CORGI

Cert PG 85mins Stars 2

This bare bones animated adventure is a cheap-looking knock-off of the first The Secret Life of Pets caper, and a mongrel mix of slapstick, satire, romance and sports film wrapped in British union flag.

Jack Whitehouse voices a smug, snobby, entitled and unfunny Corgi called Rex, which means it’s an easy payday for the posh comic.

A present from Prince Philip to the Queen, Rex falls from his status as royal favourite, and ends up first in the dog house and then out on the street, from which he tries to  return home.

Meanwhile in Buckingham Palace there’s a character called Charlie who’s in dogged pursuit of the position of top dog, and long-suffering Footmen are peed on by pampered pedigree pets, so at least some of the political jokes have a little bite, unlike the toothless nips at Donald Trump.

It’s busy and simple enough to just about pass muster for the most undemanding of little kids.

 

PITCH PERFECT

Stars 3

It’s time to sing song merrily on high with this gleefully uptempo tale set in the world of competitive a cappella, which rattles through its routine sports underdog plot with witty banter, great singing and plenty of verve and energy.

The always engaging Anna Kendrick stars as Beca Mitchell, who joins a University singing group called the Barden Bellas, where she finds herself out of tune with Anna Camp’s band leader, who’s obsessed with her troupe becoming the first all-female national champions.

Struggling against each other and the opposition, the Bellas must also cope with romance, fistfights, arrests, and repeated projectile vomiting.

Sadly after a lot of good work, the movie fails to take a cue from its own characters and plays the finale absolutely safe, leaving the audience entertained but not surprised.

PARENTAL GUIDANCE

Rating U Stars 1

Laughter fails to light the way in this gentle generational culture clash comedy, a pedestrian piece of parental prejudice which involves illicit cake eating, toilet emergencies and abortive playdates but no surprises and little of interest.

The film shuffles along saddling itself with a message of family tolerance so sickly sentimental it would shame a Disney TV movie from the 1970’s.

Marisa Tomei and Tom Everett Scott are an over-protective couple who reluctantly attempt to leave their children in the care of grandparents, played by Billy Crystal and Bette Midler.

Eternal showbiz troupers that they are, the pair give everything in a desperate attempt to entertain but for all their prickly charm and practiced comic timing, they can’t raise a spark from the dated and toothless script.

The talented cast deserve a great deal better and so do the audience.

GAMBIT (2012)

Stars 1

An all-star cast gamble with a poor Coen brothers script and come off second best in this remake of Michael Caine’s swinging sixties caper.

Colin Firth plays a much abused gopher for Alan Rickman’s ludicrously rich businessman, and so invents a scheme to relieve his boss of ‘zillions’, and employs Cameron Diaz’s cowgirl, to help.

There are double crosses and twists but hampered by the dreadful script, the normally reliable cast struggle to generate enough zip. Diaz grins manically, Rickman sneers and Firth bumbles about to no good effect.

Crucially none of the characters are sympathetic or deliciously nasty enough to care what happens to them. And with everyone’s acting antennae is jammed at ‘wacky’, every joke and comic situation is drained of humour.

I suspect the Coen’s didn’t make this movie themselves because they knew their material was substandard, ensuring this disappointing waste of everyone’s time and talent. Especially mine.