2017

THE HATTON GARDEN JOB

Cert 15 92mins Stars 1

A gem of a real life story is wasted in this botched attempt at a crime caper.

In 2015, four retired ex-cons exploit the British publics love of a Bank Holiday Monday, to pull of the UK’s biggest ever bank heist.

Using nothing more complicated than their experience, a blow torch and some wheelie bins, they made off with an estimated at £35 million from a bank vault in London’s Hatton Garden diamond district.

Phil Daniels and Larry Lamb lead the pilfering pensioners, but they’re made supporting characters in their own drama.

Instead Matthew Goode’s middle class master criminal is crowbarred into proceedings, and steals all their thunder. And posh thesp, Joely Richardson, is wildly miscast as a Hungarian mobster.

Desperate editing employs freeze frames, fast cuts and random funk tunes to try to hold our attention, but to now avail.

This is a depressing waste of likeable talent, and not worth disturbing your retirement for.

THE BOSS BABY

Cert U 97mins Stars 3

Escape your job and embrace your family with this energetic and colourful animation.

It’s a bold choice to make a kids’ movie whose main plot is a corporate conspiracy and has jokes about ‘yes men’, memos and meetings.

But by throwing in a top drawer cast alongside pirates, dinosaurs, spaceships and an aeroplane load of Elvis impersonators, this romp makes the balance sheet add up.

With the arrival of a baby brother, the perfect world of seven year old Tim Templeton is thrown into disarray.

Tim discovers the suit wearing, memo writing interloper can secretly talk, and describes himself as The Boss Baby.

The script suggests all CEO’s are uncaring career obsessives because they never received enough love as a children. I’m sure those loveable scamps Alan Sugar or Richard Branson could not agree less.

Tim’s parents work for Puppy Co., a global manufacturer of pets toys. The company have hatched a plan to replace children with puppies in the affections of every family around the world.

So the squabbling siblings join forces to restore harmony to the home.

Alec Baldwin, Steve Buscemi, Tobey Maguire and Lisa Kudrow bring their considerable experience to the pint sized cast.

It’s never dull and is a reasonable family diversion during the Easter break. There’s lots of corporate jokes for the adults and there are enough bare bums on show plus vomit and snot, to amuse the little ones.

Tim’s over active imagination is given full flight in a series of fabulous fantasy sequences. Presented in a variety of animation styles, they’re the highlights of the film and as a result, this is best seen in 3D.

I’m surprised to find I enjoyed The Boss Baby as much as I did, mostly because I’m not such a great fan of puppies or babies. Or to be honest, bosses.

 

 

FREE FIRE

Cert 15 91mins Stars 4

Load up and get this blast of a B movie in your movie going sights. Set in 1970’s Boston, US, it’s a funked-up, hard core, post-industrial spaghetti western.

British writer-director Ben Wheatley gives a rapid fire impetus and a wickedly humorous spin on an age old set up.

Masterfully containing the action in a debris littered factory, there’s a briefcase of money, a van load of guns, and too few brains.

Irish republicans spar with a South African arms dealer and the American mob. Nationalist needling escalates quickly, and every bullet hurts in the carnage that follows.

The modest budget seems mostly to have been spent on the brilliant cast, which includes Oscar winner Brie Larson and Peaky Blinders’ Cillian Murphy.

The bleak vision of humanity is underscored by the ironic use of the sweet songs of John Denver. It’s a tense as steel and as hard and dirty as the factory floor. Don’t miss.

 

POWER RANGERS (2017)

Cert 12A 123mins Stars

It’s mighty morphin’ time as the rainbow coalition of colour coded superheroes spring into action. This big budget reboot of the TV show is good surprisingly fun, in its empty headed way.

Five ordinary teens are rescued from high school detention hell when they are chosen by an ancient alien being to save the Earth.

A young attractive cast bring an earnest enthusiasm and commit themselves with a goofball energy. Their bonding sessions reference the 1980’s classic, The Breakfast Club, but with smartphones and a higher moral purpose.

They’re given special powers to battle a 65-million-year-old alien invader who is trying to steal the source of their powers. Rita Repulsa is looking good for her age, and is played by Elizabeth Banks with a gold swallowing demented glee.

Decent CGI bring to life robot dinosaurs and an army of rock monsters for a town-smashing finale. My 6 year old will probably love it.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (2017)

Cert PG 139mins Stars 5

Be spellbound as Emma Watson swaps the wizarding world of Harry Potter for a fairytale featuring a fantastic beast.

Having found global fame as Hogwarts schoolgirl swot, Hermione, Watson takes centre stage in Disney’s big budget, live action adventure. It’s a remake of their own musical from 1991, which was the first animated movie to be nominated for the Best Picture Oscar.

Surrounded by the cream of camp theatricality, and the finest CGI technology, it would be cruel and unfair to suggest Watson is the film’s least animated performer. She is faultless as the bookish, brave and beautiful, Belle.

Dan Stevens is demonically horned and hairy as then Beast. The English actor’s stock has only risen since escaping the upstairs confines of TV’s Downton Abbey.

The story is unchanged. To rescue her father from the frozen castle of the Beast, young Belle sacrifices her own freedom. The majestic monster is really a cursed Prince. He must earn her love or remain a creature forever. And time is running out.

To ensure a box office success, Disney have deployed the full creative might of their empire. There is excellence everywhere, from the superb cast, to sumptuous costumes and detailed design.

From the Oscar wining title track, to the boisterous ‘Gaston’ and the glorious ‘Be Our Guest’, the show stopping tunes are the magic which elevates this above last year’s excellent live action, Cinderella.

Competing for the limelight are old hams and grand dames of the theatre, such as Emma Thompson, Ewan McGregor and Ian McKellen. They breathe life into the castle’s other inhabitants, the talking clock, teapot, candelabra, and so on.

Bill Condon doesn’t direct the film, as much as pilot this jazz handed juggernaut safely into cinemas. It’s far from ground-breaking but it is enchanting, exciting and funny.

Please enjoy this fabulous five star family entertainment. Be our guest.

MOONLIGHT

Cert 15 111mins Stars 3

There was a mild buzz of disappointment at Sunday’s Bafta awards ceremony when this modest drama failed to convert any of its four nominations into even a single award.

It’s the sincere, sensitive and well crafted coming out story of Chiron, a shy, impoverished young gay African American in Miami. Played by a different actors, the three part structure shows him as a school boy, teenager and adult.

Chiron’s only role model is a local gangster, Juan. It’s a decent if remarkably over rated performance by Mahershala Ali, currently the bookies favourite for best supporting actor Oscar.

The House of Cards star also plays a small role in Hidden Figures, but where that film looks upwards to the heavens, Moonlight’s eyes are downcast. This introverted nature contributes to the films’ failure to move the heart to the intended degree.

‘Who are you?’ asks Chiron’s only friend after a ten year absence. After watching the film, I’m none the wiser.

FILM STARS DON’T DIE IN LIVERPOOL

Cert 15 106mins Stars 4

The unwieldy title of this moving real life romantic drama refers in part to the reticence of actors to leave the limelight.

And true to form we have two headliners wrestling for the spotlight in this adaptation of Peter Turner’s touching memoir.

Veteran Annette Bening is terrific as the sexy and vulnerable Gloria Grahame, a 1950’s Oscar winner now eking a living on stage in northern England in 1981.

Falling ill Gloria seeks respite at the Merseyside family home of her former lover, Peter.

In flashback we see their romance begin with a brave invitation to dance from the 55 year old Gloria.

Especially as 26 year old Peter is played by the former Billy Elliot, Jamie Bell. The Teesside born star gives his most complete performance yet.

This is a rare excursion from the world of James Bond for producer Barbara Broccoli. Given Bell now has a physique to rival 007 Daniel Craig, maybe she was scouting for his replacement.

 

 

MUDBOUND

Cert 15 134mins Stars 4

Poverty, prejudice and PTSD are stuck in deep in this epic and moving period drama.

Sweeping landscapes and intimate voice overs are used to bring Hillary Jordan’s 2008 bestselling novel to life, which sees two families finding their fortunes yoked together across the racial divide.

Full of betrayal and violence the script navigates it’s way through the misery of the Mississippi mud, though green shoots of optimism are eventually found in the fertile soil.

Well crafted throughout, this is a prestige production by Netflix as the streaming service seek to add awards glory to their market influence, and so are releasing Mudbound in cinemas and online today.

Brit actress Carey Milligan takes top billing ahead of a strong male cast, and with female talent flourishes in the major departments of direction, script, editing, cinematography and music.

This sends a powerful message of empowerment to old Hollywood and its current troubles.

GOOD TIME

Cert 15 102mins Stars 4

From Twilight heartthrob to serious indie actor, Robert Pattinson’s ongoing mission to stretch his talent continues in this tense, sad, bleak, and blackly comic crime thriller.

Now aged 31 he brings a magnificent feral charisma to Connie, a sleep deprived desperado who has to raise $10,000 bail money to spring his mentally challenged brother from the notorious Riker’s Island prison.

Shooting on location in New York adds to the sense of urgency, while a strong 1980’s vibe is projected by the presence of Jennifer Jason Leigh, electric colour scheme, a synthesiser-heavy soundtrack and Pattinson’s bleach blonde hair.

Meanwhile the spirit of this character driven fraternal love story has undertones of classic 1970’s cinema such as Al Pacino’s Dog Day Afternoon.

The script by co-director Josh Safdie offers caustic comment on the ineffectual nature of government machinery, and how mainstream entertainment has always centred on violence and the macabre.

Far from a good time, I had a great time.

 

LOVE OF MY LIFE

Director: Joan Carr-Wiggin (2017) BBFC cert: 15

 

One shouldn’t make jokes about cancer and this glacially paced farce certainly succeeds in failing to make us laugh.

Devoid of wit, mirth or ambition, it’s a malignant, morbid and mawkish misfire, unrelentingly unfunny, staggeringly awful and too predictable and painful to endure.

It stars three refugees you’ll recognise from classic comedy, Four Weddings And A Funeral, in John Hannah, James Fleet and Anna ‘Duckface’ Chancellor. The latter in particular is deserving of so much better material.

She plays middle aged mother and architect, Grace, who believes she has only four days to live before she undergoes an operation to remove a brain tumour.

Her arrogant and smug ex husband turns up declaring undying love and wanting to rekindle their romance. Her current hubby is a dithering drunken idiot, and doesn’t seem too put out.

It’s set and filmed in Canada, presumably for tax relief purposes. It speaks volumes even the British film industry wouldn’t stoop to funding this nonsense.

★☆☆☆☆

@ChrisHunneysett