2017

A DOG’S PURPOSE

Cert PG 100mins Stars 2

Time seems to pass in dog years watching this fluffy-minded fable featuring a mutt which ponders the meaning of life while repeatedly reincarnating.

This sun kissed sentimental soap opera is directed in typically treacly style by Lasse Hallstrom, who last made a sentimental meal of Helen Mirren’s The Hundred Foot Journey.

Josh Gad voices Bailey the dog with puppyish enthusiasm. Each time it’s born again, the pooch changes breed, gender, and owners.

This allows this mongrel of a film to move from it’s setting from suburban drama to Chicago cop show. There’s also a Sex and the City style interlude where Bailey experiences some doggy style puppy love.

There are Lassie type heroics involving burning buildings and arresting wrong-uns. He also chases his tail, rolls in the mud and chases chickens.

Dog lovers may enjoy it, but for cat people such as myself it will raise your hackles and make you want to hiss.

 

LADY MACBETH

Cert 15 99mins Stars 4

Sex, class, race, money and power are drawn together in a suffocating corset of ambition in this intense period drama.

Florence Pugh gives a remarkably rich performance of perfect poise and earthy passion as the newly wed lady of the manor. 

The wedding night of the English beauty doesn’t go as expected. And when she takes a lover from a household of spying servants and looming groomsmen, murder most foul follows.

This is a chilly English Victorian-era take on a Russian novel inspired in part by Shakespeare’s Scottish play, MacBeth. The costumes, names, setting and language may change, but the power of the drama lives on.

It’s staged on the wild moors of my native North-east and riffs on Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights. Local accents add flavour to some ripe Anglo Saxon language.

Beautifully photographed and impeccably played by all, this is a Shakespearean experience for those who don’t like Shakespeare.

HEAL THE LIVING

Cert 12A 104mins Stars 2

A strong stomach is required for this metaphysical hospital melodrama, which has the sterile feel of a feature length advert for organ donors.

When an extreme sports loving teenager suffers terminal brain damage, his organs are made available for donation. Simon’s surfing scenes are the hypnotic highlight.

With its tastefully torpid and lily-livered bedside manner, the drama fails to generate any meaty anger or bile.

With a soundtrack of irritating piano noise, bridges are a metaphor for the way people connect, and water is shorthand for the spirit world.

Imagining itself to be a hymn to the oneness of humanity, the script stitches together class, gender and sexual orientation.

But the film’s brain never realises how token Asian and black characters are lumped together in the background, and the working class suffer so the artistic middle class can live.

I’m far from convinced this film’s heart and head are in the right place.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY: VOL 2

Cert 12A 135mins Stars 4

Brace yourself for cinematic hyper-speed as Marvel’s bickering band of galactic outlaws return in another loony tunes outer-space adventure.

Once again the inadvertent heroes have to save the universe, this time from a celestial being who wants to recreate  all life in his own image. 

The Guardian’s first adventure in 2014 was a £600 million box office supernova, and this one is bigger, brighter and funnier.

Although it is set in the same universe as Spider-Man, Iron Man, the Hulk and the rest of Marvel’s team, there are only fleeting references to it. This gives it a stronger identity than most of their comic book adaptations.

Chris Pratt is the nominal star but is comprehensively outshone by pretty much all of the crowded cast.

He plays the super cocky half human halfwit Star-Lord, the leader of the pack. Sharing considerable screen time with the charismatic Kurt Russell, Pratt wilts in the heat of the veteran’s screen presence.

But even the scene stealing Russell can’t compete with the Baby Groot, an adorably cute animated stick creature, voiced by Vin Diesel. 

The laid back freewheeling groove disguises a remarkably smooth and accomplished ride, of dazzling sophisticated design, and an eye bending sense of scale.

Space battles riff on 1970’s Atari video games and are set to another soundtrack of 1970’s pop hits. It’s a trippy experience in 3D.

With a multi-coloured cast engaged in cartoon action and a laboured emphasis on friendship and family, The Guardians are clearly racing with the Fast and Furious franchise juggernaut to be box office champ. 

Fully clothed, covered in paint and half robotic, Karen Gillan and Zoe Saldana prove to its competitor, films don’t have to rely on upskirt shots to be sexy. 

Almost needy in it’s desire to entertain, this is a rocket-fuelled psychedelic roller coaster of cosmic fun.

TRANSFIGURATION

Cert 15 97mins Stars 3

You have to take a bite from this stomach churning horror story to taste the sweet sadness under its skin.

The script from first time director and writer, Michael O’Shea, plays on our understanding of the long history of cinematic vampires. With wry humour he neatly skewers other big screen portrayals of the undead, with the Twilight series getting it in the neck more than most.

Far from the European aristocratic realm of Count Dracula, the story is set among the urban grime of contemporary New York.

The natural performances suit the almost documentary filmmaking approach, capitalising on a daringly original twist on the monster myth.

Teenage Milo is fascinated and repulsed by his vampirism, trying to hold on to his humanity while learning about his bloodsucking condition.

He begins a relationship with new girl on the block, Sophie. They’re drawn together by the chaos of their environment, But Milo can’t tell her his sickening truth.

 

 

 

THEIR FINEST

Cert 12A 117mins Stars 4

Gemma Arteton makes movie magic in this hugely entertaining second world war comedy drama.

The actress deploys her ample talent as Catrin, a writer who inadvertently wages a one woman war on sexism in the British film industry. It’s a gift of a role which makes the most of her ability to be warm, vulnerable, smart and sexy.

Meanwhile wily old trouper Bill Nighy leads a first class platoon of homegrown supporting talent, which includes Helen McCrory, Eddie Marsan and Jeremy Irons.

Working though the Blitz, Catrin discovers looking like a Bond girl in a male dominated environment provides additional hazards.

Equipped with a wedding ring, a thick skin and a desire to succeed, Catrin shares a small office with the cynical senior writer, Tom, played by the dependable Sam Claflin.

They must concoct a screenplay celebrating an heroic episode from the evacuation of Dunkirk. But their work is complicated when they discover the ‘facts’ involved in their story are not as have been reported in the press.

With deception is key to filmmaking, especially in the art of propaganda, Their Finest explores the way great fictions can reveal even larger truths, and looks at the way lies are employed to serve a greater good. But the tone is never strident and the story is never neglected.

Plus there’s a lot of fun with the mechanics and tricks of filmmaking, and affectionate spoofs of the period style of cinema.

Confident and sure footed, the script seems to commit a clumsy narrative stumble as it nears its destination. But its necessary to allow this uplifting and inspirational tale to reach its empowering conclusion.

Handsomely photographed, wonderfully played and full of humour, this is a thoroughly British crowd pleaser in every way. All the more surprising then, it was directed by a Dane, the talented Lone Scherfig.

THE BELKO EXPERIMENT

Cert 18 89mins Stars 4

A first day at a new job turns out to be a really bad day at the office in this fierce and funny action thriller.

A blood soaked satire on corporate downsizing full of gleeful gore, it deserves to put to the top of your cinema-going in-tray.

Melonie Diaz stars as Dany Wilkins, a US citizen newly employed by recruitment firm, Belko. They’re based in an isolated office block on the outskirts of Bogota, Colombia.

With no warning, the building is sealed by armed guards and the 80 US staff are told by the tannoy announcer they must kill each other in order to survive.

Shock quickly turns to violence as the rationalisation of the workforce begins.

It’s written by James Gunn, the director of upcoming Marvel’s sci-fi romp, Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2. He sketches the characters with efficiency, and expertly keeps us guessing who will dodge the bullet and who gets the chop.

 

FINDING FATIMAH

Cert 12A 99mins Stars 1

There’s little fun to be found as Mancunian muslims go looking for love in this laugh free romcom.

A sincere debut film by writer and director Oz Arshad, it’s keen to highlight the broad diversity among British muslims.

And there’s an honesty in demonstrating they’re as pompous, stupid, class conscious, and obsessed with talent shows, as anyone else in the UK.

Plus there’s no faulting the energy of the cast who gamely attempt to breathe life into the inert script. But their best efforts are undermined by a lack of visual flair and weak production values.

Shahid is a 30 year old divorcee whose printing business is going bust. But his life seems to turn for the better when he meets Fatimah via a Muslims-only dating app.

Danny Ashok and Asmara Gabrielle are endearing and attractive actors. But their characters have far more chemistry and affection with their respective families than they ever do with each other.

 

 

FAST AND FURIOUS 8

Cert 12A 136mins Stars 3

Get your motor running for the long haul, as the formula one of petrol powered action becomes an endurance rally.

Now on it’s eighth lap since 2001 and with no destination in sight, it’s another rigidly marshalled parade of stage managed thrills. As its familiar faces are manoeuvred around a global circuit of locations, they deliver the expected lame banter and homilies on family and respect.

Vin Diesel is back in the driving seat as former criminal and professional street racer, Dominic Toretto. While enjoying his honeymoon, he’s blackmailed into betraying his crew and stealing a weapon of mass destruction.

As a cyber-terrorist and criminal mastermind called Cipher, Charlize Theron comes equipped with a god complex, a plan worthy of a James Bond villain, and a fired up nuclear sub.

Helen Mirren pops by with a weapons grade cockney accent, and Kurt Russell offers more fun than many of the regulars.

Bald buddies Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham are hot on Dom’s trail, leading Dom’s abandoned friends and family. These minor characters have too little to contribute, and act as a brake when the action needs to accelerate.

As the motorised mayhem moves from the heat of Cuba to the arctic ice of Russia, it’s kept on the road by its hardworking pit team of stunt people, mechanics and CGI wizards.

Fast 8 will have to burn rubber to overtake the turbo charged success previous movie. Furious Seven raced to a colossal £1.2 billion at the box office in 2015.

However it lost the race to be champ that year, coming home behind Jurassic World and Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens. With Beauty and the Beast already breaking records, I doubt this film will feature in this year’s top three.

Nevertheless, this pileup of preposterous pandemonium provides robust mechanical fun for its large family of fans.

MOLLY MONSTER

Cert U 72mins Stars 3

Wrap yourself up in this warm comfort blanket of a cartoon, aimed with gentle accuracy at the CBeebies crowd.

It’s inventive, charming, and has some sweet songs to jolly the slight story along. There’s a vaguely Sergeant a Pepper vibe to the animation, but lacks the potent menace of the magnificent Blue Meanies.

A green and yellow dragon type of monster, Molly is friendly, brave, kind, and clever.

Left at home when her parents set off to egg island, she decides to follow them, taking only her blue clockwork pet, Edison, for company.

The delightfully absurdist landscape is populated with various quirky creatures to assist along the way. Plus there are mechanical contraptions which would delight Heath-Robinson.

Based on the whimsical books of Swiss illustrator, Ted Sieger, this children’s animation is a quirky affair which tootles along at a soft and pleasant pace.

There’s nothing here to frighten your little monsters.