GHOST IN THE SHELL (2017)

Cert 12A 107mins Stars 2

Beneath the glossy exterior there’s not much spirit to be found in this curate’s egg of a sci-fi action thriller.

A hard working Scarlett Johansson stands at the centre of the spectacular visuals, but even the Avengers star can’t bring the soulless storytelling to boil.

The story is based the acclaimed Japanese cyberpunk comic strip which was followed by a successful big screen animated version in 1995. They were a huge influence on The Matrix, which is why a lot of the ideas here seem very familiar.

This future version of Japan is a neon vision of eye popping CGI. The population pay for cybernetic enhancements to make themselves quicker, stronger, smarter, etc.

Johansson gives a nicely judged mechanical performance as a kick-ass military cyborg known as the Major. She’s a human brain in a synthetic body and possessed of unexplained powers of flight and invisibility.

Investigating the assassination of corporate suits, the Major discovers a secret about her past which causes her to question her mission.

Controversy was caused by the casting of Johansson in the lead role. Giving an Asian role to a caucasian actress has led to accusations of whitewashing.

But technically Johansson is playing a robot, and the film’s Chinese financiers don’t seem to have a problem with it. And anyway, it’s the least of the films problems.

Despite casting one of the worlds most desirable women and encasing her in a nude body suit, this is a remarkably sexless enterprise.

Plus the cardboard cutout characters are dwarfed by the locations and the drama is lost in the scrambled action sequences.

A flat script fails to explore the idea of identity, and the dull dialogue suffers from a severe humour malfunction.

And without love, poetry or anything else to give it humanity, the Ghost In The Shell offers very little of substance.

 

THE VOID

Cert 18 90mins Stars 2

This homage to 1980’s body horror flicks combines an old school style with new age nonsense, but fails to conquer the credibility gap.

A welcome throwback to classics such as The Thing and The Fly, but at times strays perilously close to unwitting parody instead.

While knife wielding cult members stalk the grounds of a small town hospital, the innocent citizens inside are terrorised by a shapeshifting beast.

It’s great to see physical special effects create the monster, which is a throbbing mass of tissue and tentacles.

However the good work is hamstrung by a small budget, and there’s a failure to compensate with either great writing or a sense of camp fun.

Alarmingly large plot holes lurk around every dark corner and preposterous dialogue such as ‘there are things older than time’ don’t help.

If you’re not in the mood for some gory face-ripping action, you’d probably best avoid.

 

POWER RANGERS (2017)

Cert 12A 123mins Stars

It’s mighty morphin’ time as the rainbow coalition of colour coded superheroes spring into action. This big budget reboot of the TV show is good surprisingly fun, in its empty headed way.

Five ordinary teens are rescued from high school detention hell when they are chosen by an ancient alien being to save the Earth.

A young attractive cast bring an earnest enthusiasm and commit themselves with a goofball energy. Their bonding sessions reference the 1980’s classic, The Breakfast Club, but with smartphones and a higher moral purpose.

They’re given special powers to battle a 65-million-year-old alien invader who is trying to steal the source of their powers. Rita Repulsa is looking good for her age, and is played by Elizabeth Banks with a gold swallowing demented glee.

Decent CGI bring to life robot dinosaurs and an army of rock monsters for a town-smashing finale. My 6 year old will probably love it.

SEOUL STATION

Cert 15 Stars 4

Fast track yourself to the South Korean capital for this bloodthirsty zombie thriller. It’s an animated spin-off of the ferocious live action and must-be-seen Train To Busan.

As a father searches desperately for his daughter while fellow citizens are devoured by the undead, there’s no shortage of surprises, grit or gore.

Featuring homelessness and prostitution, it’s a far from glowing portrait of modern Korea. However the commitment to scathing and subversive social commentary never side lines the delivery of first class thrills.

With strong language and adult themes, this cartoon is not for the kids.

 

THE EYES OF MY MOTHER

Cert 15 76mins Stars 4

This deeply disturbing American gothic horror is a piercing portrait of macabre madness. It enters your brain with the jab of a rusty pitchfork, and is just as difficult to remove.

The brutal violence and transgressive sex occurs off screen, and is more unsettling for it. Filming in soft black and white adds to the sense of timelessness, helping the story cover a period of years with great economy.

Francisca is the young daughter of a dairy farmer and an surgeon, living a remote rural life. When a gun wielding salesman causes chaos, her behaviour takes a dark turn.

As she grows up, she retains our sympathy. This is due to the remarkably poised performances of first Olivia Bond and then Kika Magalhaes in the role.

Not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach, The Eyes Of My Mother is a powerful and punishing watch, if you can bear to see it.

THE LOST CITY OF Z

Cert 15 140mins Stars 3

Plod your weary way across South America with this historical jungle trek.

It’s a handsome, sincere and stiff upper lipped affair. There’s none of the swinging adventurous fun of a Tarzan romp. And it lacks the barking mad genius of the classic, Aguirre: Wrath of God, to which it aspires.

We join Geordie actor Charlie Hunnam as he sails up the Amazon, searching for the fabled city of Z. The Sons Of Anarchy TV star plays Colonel Percy Fawcett, a real life military man-turned-explorer.

Hunnam’s a perfectly capable actor who always seems far more comfortable on the small screen than the silver one. As a result he’s out of his depth in more ways than one.

He sadly hasn’t the necessary range to express Fawcett’s obsessive nature, and there’s not enough action to play to his strengths. His favoured means of expression are monotone whispers or the shouting of grand declarations.

Robert Pattinson and Tom Holland pass through the revolving door marked fellow travellers, sporting remarkable beards and threadbare clothes. Sienna Miller does well in a non-role as the Fawcett’s much neglected and stay at home wife.

Pattinson would have made for a more interesting choice as Fawcett, and arguably would be a bigger box office draw. Meanwhile Holland is about to swing into the Hollywood stratosphere as the new Spider-man.

Fawcett made several journeys between 1905 and 1954. Rather than streamlining the story into two trips, the script plods pedantically on, marking every stop from the Irish countryside, to stuffy London and into deepest Bolivia.

There’s opera in the undergrowth, alligators on the river and treachery in the hearts of men. They’re attacked by cannibals, abandoned by guides and face starvation and disease.

This wants to be a film about about obsession, faith and spirituality, but it never finds the transcendence it manfully strives for.

CHIPS

Cert 15 100 minutes Stars 1

The 1980s TV show about motorbike cops has been remodelled as a comedy. And the result is a car crash.

Though it doesn’t take itself seriously, it isn’t clever enough to mock its own stupidity or the ridiculousness of the old shows. Instead it delivers a wreck of vehicle porn, extreme sport fetish, and limp jokes. With added explosions.

An off-the-shelf plot sees an undercover FBI agent investigating corruption in the California Highway Patrol police department.

Michael Pena plays sex obsessed agent Frank Poncherello who is teamed up with over eager new recruit, Jon Baker.

He’s played by Dax Shephard, who is also the writer, director and producer. So we all know who to blame. He even finds a bimbo role for his wife. Which is nice of him. This is action movie road kill in stuck in a comedy cul de sac.

CHiPs is remarkable only for its leering sexism and its woeful inability to make you laugh.

 

PERSONAL SHOPPER

Cert 15 105mins Stars 4

There’s no discounting the quality of the fare delivered by this unique psychological thriller. It’s a spine tingling tease of a ghost story, centred around sibling love, spirituality and self awakening.

Kristen Stewart has emerged from the shadow of the teenage Twilight franchise which her made a star, to reveal a serious actress with an impressive portfolio of work.

In her finest performance to date, Stewart moves mesmerically between vulnerable, aggressive, competent, lonely and fragile. Her understated yet significant charisma does much to heighten the mournful beauty and unsettling tone.

Maureen is an American in Paris who believes she has psychic ability. Her life is on hold as she mourns her twin brother who recently passed away.

While working as a personal shopper for a celebrity, a malevolent spirit draws Maureen into an extraordinarily tense and transgressive relationship.

If you’re in the market for a chilly and thought provoking spree, there’s no need to shop around.

 

 

 

GET OUT

Cert 15 Stars 4

Fear, prejudice, and hypocrisy are shown the door in this fiendish and clever comedy horror.

It’s an excruciating comedy of manners which takes a darkly violent twist. A racial riff on the sci-fi satire, The Stepford Wives, it includes echoes of comic Steve Martin’s early, funny films, such as The Jerk.

The smart script and knowing cast gleefully collude to laugh at the fears of white America, while highlighting where the balance of power really lies.

Brit star Daniel Kaluuya stars as a middle class photographer who is accompanying his white girlfriend to meet her wealthy parents at their big house in the country. But Rose hasn’t told them he’s black.

Director Jordan Peele had a surprise hit last year when he wrote and starred in kitty kidnap crime caper, Keanu. Get Out has so far scored for a cool £93 million at the box office. Hugely impressive for a film which cost a paltry £4 million.

Get out and go see it.

 

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (2017)

Cert PG 139mins Stars 5

Be spellbound as Emma Watson swaps the wizarding world of Harry Potter for a fairytale featuring a fantastic beast.

Having found global fame as Hogwarts schoolgirl swot, Hermione, Watson takes centre stage in Disney’s big budget, live action adventure. It’s a remake of their own musical from 1991, which was the first animated movie to be nominated for the Best Picture Oscar.

Surrounded by the cream of camp theatricality, and the finest CGI technology, it would be cruel and unfair to suggest Watson is the film’s least animated performer. She is faultless as the bookish, brave and beautiful, Belle.

Dan Stevens is demonically horned and hairy as then Beast. The English actor’s stock has only risen since escaping the upstairs confines of TV’s Downton Abbey.

The story is unchanged. To rescue her father from the frozen castle of the Beast, young Belle sacrifices her own freedom. The majestic monster is really a cursed Prince. He must earn her love or remain a creature forever. And time is running out.

To ensure a box office success, Disney have deployed the full creative might of their empire. There is excellence everywhere, from the superb cast, to sumptuous costumes and detailed design.

From the Oscar wining title track, to the boisterous ‘Gaston’ and the glorious ‘Be Our Guest’, the show stopping tunes are the magic which elevates this above last year’s excellent live action, Cinderella.

Competing for the limelight are old hams and grand dames of the theatre, such as Emma Thompson, Ewan McGregor and Ian McKellen. They breathe life into the castle’s other inhabitants, the talking clock, teapot, candelabra, and so on.

Bill Condon doesn’t direct the film, as much as pilot this jazz handed juggernaut safely into cinemas. It’s far from ground-breaking but it is enchanting, exciting and funny.

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