Supernatural

ARTHUR & MERLIN: KNIGHTS OF CAMELOT

Cert 15 Stars 3

There’s a strong northern accent to this admirably earthy take on Arthurian legend, as it’s written and directed by Yorkshireman Giles Alderson, and stars the solid presence of Geordie actor Richard Short as a battle hardened Arthur.

Freeing England by defeating the Romans has taken a toll on Arthur, who’s living in France as a drunk and bearded brawler and must overcome his personal demons in order to unite his unruly Knights of the Round Table to save England again, this time from his illegitimate adult son Mordred, a sneering and arrogant Joel Phillimore.

Stella Stocker’s solemn and steely Queen Guinevere is captive in Camelot. and though we see less than we’d imagine of Richard Brake as Arthur’s mercurial spiritual guru, the wizard Merlin, we’re not shortchanged of Lancelot or Percival, and the Lady in the Lake, and the Sword in the Stone of course appear.

Filmed only in natural light and making good use of locations, this is very much the Game of Thrones version of Arthur, as supernatural elements combine with a dour muddy realism to create a meaty experience.

FANTASY ISLAND

Cert 15 Stars 2

It’s a terrific concept to take the 1970’s TV show about a mysterious tropical paradise where customers paid to have their dreams come true and reinventing it as a contemporary supernatural horror, especially as it’s produced by Blumhouse production studio, the team behind the successful The Purge, and Insidious franchises.

However they manage to take this dream of an idea and turn it into a series of mediocre chills.

Michael Pena steps into the shoes of Ricardo Montalban as the Master of Ceremonies, but has to cope without his diminutive assistant, Tattoo and his catchphrase, ‘The plane, the plane.’

THE TURNING

Cert 15 Stars 1

In squandering its grand Irish setting, superlative source material and a game cast in favour of tepid atmosphere, timid scares and bewildering incompetence, this supernatural gothic horror is an early contender for the worst film of the year.

Mackenzie Davis is a warm presence with a hard working line of quizzical looks and can scream to order, which are all useful traits playing Kate, a newly appointed governess to a wealthy seven year old orphan.

Brooklynn Prince is exuberant and engaging as Flora, she lives in a stately manor which is somewhat neglected since the groundskeeper mysteriously died.

Apparitions appear at windows, there are ghostly voices at night and then stranger things happen when Flora’s teenage brother unexpectedly arrives home from boarding school.

Played by Finn Wolfhard, Miles has a love of macabre practical jokes, predatory spiders and inappropriate behaviour.

Teasing violence and nudity but delivering neither, it updates Henry James’ novella The Turn of the Screw, from 1898 to 1994,  but twists James’ studied ambiguity into rambling slipshod incoherence.

BREAKING DAWN PART 2

Stars 3

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson return as vampires Bella and Edward for one last bite of the cherry in the final chapter of the Twilight saga which doesn’t hold back on the tooth and claw.

Until now the franchise has been an anaemic exercise that was all teeth and no trousers but this time the gothic horror runs red with passion, anger and blood.

Bella and Edward’s daughter has been wrongly accused of being an immortal child by the Volturi, the royal family of vampires, and so as a threat to them they have decided she must die.

To protect her child, the now rampant Bella must gather help from a motley crew of vampires and werewolves in order to face down the Volturi in a final confrontation.

Stewart is full of furious, motherly anger and rips into her role with gusto, putting Pattinson firmly in her shadow.

Taylor Lautner as Jacob the love-sick werewolf is more petulant than ever and still afraid to put his shirt on, despite the heavy snow on the ground.

Michael Sheen is a great actor and as Aro, the leader of the Volturi, he is a prowling, preening, power hungry vampire who has the best fun delivering the film’s lines.

The film is beautiful to look at, not just for the actors but the stunning Canadian landscape is majestic in its wild, snow-covered glory.

There is again lots of running through forests and jumping from treetops but when the film kicks off in the second half there is some excellent fight choreography and the final confrontation is terrifically and excitingly staged.

I haven’t read the books and I’ve no idea if this is a faithful adaptation or not but I do know this is a handsome and exciting finale to a consistent and successful franchise.

If you’re not a fan of the film series this probably won’t make you change your mind, but if you are then you won’t be disappointed.

DEAD NIGHT

Cert 18 Stars 3

No good deed goes unpunished in this brisk and blood-soaked supernatural slasher horror which sees a family on a trip to remote cabin, ironically for the good of their health.

En route they offer shelter to a woman they find passed out in the snow,  but their act of is one they come to regret.

It’s reasonably stylish with more some decent atmosphere and fulfils its modest ambition of offering some unfussy old school chills. Plus it’s always great to see veteran screamstress, Barbara Crampton, of 1980’s horror flicks such as Re-Animator, back on the screen.

 

THE LITTLE VAMPIRE

Cert U 82mins Stars 2

This bloodless animation offers thin pickings for all but the most undemanding cinema-goers.

It’s a cross-cultural bromance between two 13 year old boys, a Transylvanian vampire with punk hair, and a fresh-faced US holidaymaker on a creepy castle tour of Europe with his family.

They team up to rescue the vampire’s clan from a pair of inept villains. The head baddie is voiced by Jim Carter, best known as Downton Abbey’s butler, Carson. 

The only other recognisable names the budget stretches to are Miriam Margolyes and Tim Pigott-Smith, with not much left over for the animation, and even less for the script.

Mixes magic spells with some mechanical contraptions such as the Infra-dead vampire locating device, and I could have done with much more of the weaponised vampire-cow poo,

It’s so insubstantial it won’t cast a shadow in your memory, but it’s harmless and doesn’t totally suck. Though it’s probably best saved for the rainiest day of half term.

MONSTER FAMILY

Cert PG  93mins Stars 1

An early contender for the worst family film of 2018, only the naughtiest kids should be exposed to this monstrously poor animated horror show.

A lovelorn Count Dracula orders a witch to magically transform a married mother of two  into a vampire so he can woo her.

Unfortunately her stupid bickering family are also changed into various legendary creatures such as Frankenstein’s monster, and they’re no best pleased.

Pratfalls and fart jokes pad out the script of this repetitive, joyless and charmless mind-numbing drivel.

It’s brought to zombified life by feasting on the creative blood of far superior films such as Pixar’s Incredibles and Adam Sandler’s Hotel Transylvania films, which have sequels out this summer.

Horrifyingly, this is even worse than Tom Cruise’s recent version of the Mummy. 

Emily Watson, Nick Frost, Celia Imrie, Jason Isaacs and Catherine Tate are the British voice talent putting a stake through the heart of their credibility for an easy payday.

 

THE RITUAL

Cert 15 94mins Stars 3

Get back to nature and discover your inner pagan with this British supernatural horror.

Four middle aged mostly middle class friends go on a hiking holiday to northern Sweden, they’re on a guilt trip to honour a recently deceased friend.

It’s a majestically clean and beautiful landscape, chosen presumably because its remoteness denies the walkers access to the internet. When they’re forced off route it becomes a terrifying journey of self discovery.

Equipped with a low budget and lacking star power, they are possessed by a director intent on maximising his resources.

Spooky thrills are summoned by some cracking creature design, tremendous sound mixing and an interestingly prickly performance by Rafe Spall in the lead role. 

The script sticks to the  familiar path and sightseeing features a cabin in the woods, strange symbols carved on trees and grisly blood offerings. However by utilising local folklore we’re led to a satisfyingly dark psychological destination.

IT

Cert 15 135mins Stars 3

The previous adaptation of a Stephen King novel I had to endure was the astonishingly dull sci fi bomb, The Dark Tower.

This new version of his famous horror story is excellent in many ways except in the most important, it fails to scare.

A superb coming of age take ruined by the frequent inclusion of supernatural silliness. Everything would be much improved by removing the stupid monster.

Pennywise is a psychopathic spirit who takes the form of a freak show circus clown who feeds on fear but isn’t terrible effective in tormenting his young victims.

Tim Curry played Pennywise in a memorable 1990 TV miniseries, here we have a very physical performance by Bill Skarsgard who indulges in much alarming leaping. I kept worrying he’d put his back out.

There is handsome production design and first rate performances from the younger cast members. Jaeden Lieberher plays Bill, who leads an adolescent band of social misfits on a search to find his younger brother whose been missing for a year.

Self styled as ‘the losers club’, their camaraderie is wonderfully believable, sweet and funny. Sophia Lillis is tremendously affecting as the token girl member.

Though sinks explode with blood, mattresses ooze gunk and severed heads bob about in sewers, the ordinary real life dangers facing the teens are far more scary.

Bullies, beatings, abusive parents and the struggles of talking to the opposite sex carry more emotional weight than all the spooky shenanigans.

All the best moments call to mind the superior King adaption, Stand By Me, such as when The Losers Club are tormented on their journey around town by a car driving bunch of high school hoodlums. 

Three writers are credited on the script which draws heavily on King’s excellent ear for dialogue, strong characterisation, and stresses the importance of loyalty and friendship. 

However the threat of a sequel is the most terrifying on screen moment they can conjure.

 

ANNABELLE: CREATION

Cert 15 108mins Stars 3

There’s no escape from the blood dripping, knuckle crunching terror in the most scary of the fourth film in the Annabelle franchise.

A prequel to 2014’s Annabelle and the two related Conjuring films, Creation tells the origin of the demonic dead eyed doll, Annabelle.

Half a dozen orphan girls are bussed to a new farmhouse home, it’s owned by the craftsman who handcrafted Annabelle for his now deceased daughter.

The house has a deep well, a creaking dumb waiter, and a mask wearing mad woman locked in her room.

Prior to this episode the formula has led to the series making £680m from a combined budget of £51m.

And the producers stick rigidly to their successful financial formula by keeping the action to a single location, casting largely unknowns and using old school physical effects to keep the costs low.

But there’s no skimping on the horror and the shocks are as well crafted as the wooden girl herself.