family

MADAGASCAR 3 – EUROPE’S MOST WANTED

Cert PG Stars 4

Putting the mad firmly into Madagascar, this animated threequel is a day-glo riot of cartoon fun and the film equivalent of a bucketful of sugary pick’n’mix

Alex the lion returns to lead Marty the zebra, Melman the giraffe and Gloria the hippo out of Africa and across Europe on board a struggling animal circus.

And the wisecracking penguins return to comment on the action while throwing chaos into the mix in their well-intentioned and self-interested manner.

They are all chased on a train ride of manic adventure by the malevolent police officer Captain DuBois, a puddle-licking and poison-shooting insect who wants to kill Alex and mount his head on a plaque on her office wall.

Jokes, songs, action, romance and buckets of slapstick are all wrapped up in a rainbow of good-humoured anarchy.

This is a film that is absolutely determined to entertain with boundless energy and a irresistible creative zeal. When a pink bear in a multi-coloured afro super-biking around Rome while romancing a ring-tailed lemur, you know it’s time to abandon your marbles and gleefully embrace the insanity.

And don’t worry if a given joke doesn’t amuse, there’ll be another along in a second. And probably a song as well.

The animation is in turns dynamic, vivid and beautiful. Rome is ravishingly rendered; London comes a close second with a dazzling circus performance that gives the recent Olympic opening ceremony a run for its money.

Madagascar is feel good family fun that will leave you feeling exhilarated and craving more. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t seen the first two movies, just go and enjoy this one.

THE LITTLE VAMPIRE

Cert U 82mins Stars 2

This bloodless animation offers thin pickings for all but the most undemanding cinema-goers.

It’s a cross-cultural bromance between two 13 year old boys, a Transylvanian vampire with punk hair, and a fresh-faced US holidaymaker on a creepy castle tour of Europe with his family.

They team up to rescue the vampire’s clan from a pair of inept villains. The head baddie is voiced by Jim Carter, best known as Downton Abbey’s butler, Carson. 

The only other recognisable names the budget stretches to are Miriam Margolyes and Tim Pigott-Smith, with not much left over for the animation, and even less for the script.

Mixes magic spells with some mechanical contraptions such as the Infra-dead vampire locating device, and I could have done with much more of the weaponised vampire-cow poo,

It’s so insubstantial it won’t cast a shadow in your memory, but it’s harmless and doesn’t totally suck. Though it’s probably best saved for the rainiest day of half term.

SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY

Cert 12A 135mins Stars 4
Experience a light-speed roller coaster ride in a galaxy far, far away in this rip-roaring Star Wars spin-off.

Set sometime before the original 1977 blockbuster, it follows the young Han Solo from a penniless street thief to becoming a swashbuckling space smuggler.

Having been brilliantly played by Harrison Ford in four films previously, I worried about how the new guy would measure up.

Especially as in the words of Princess Leia who famously quipped of Luke Skywalker, new star Alden Ehrenreich is probably a little short for a stormtrooper. In his defence, everyone looks short next to the enormous hairy frame of Chewbacca the Wookiee.

And Ehrenreich quickly wins us over with an endearingly cocky swagger, as Solo survives a mountainside monorail heist, meets Chewbacca for the first time, acquires his iconic spaceship, the Millennium Falcon, and falls foul of Paul Bettany’s master criminal, Dryden Vos.

Emilia Clarke from TV’s Game Of Thrones plays Solo’s childhood friend, Qi’ra, though she’s such a sweet on-screen presence she struggles to convince of the conflict within her character.

And it’s Donald Glover, as the roguish Lando Calrissian, who steals the film with his cosmic charisma.

A lot more fun than the other Star Wars spin-off, Rogue One, there’s no avoiding the background hum of war.

But this is far from the rarefied world of generals and emperors of previous films, this is a blue-collar world of miners, shipbuilders, and frontline soldiers, where people wrestle in mud for their lives.

Ron Howard’s safe pair of hands were brought in to reshoot large chunks of the film after original directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller were jettisoned when Disney were unhappy with their loose improvisational style.

Racing against the clock to complete the film it’s remarkable he’s crafted not only a coherent film, but a hugely entertaining one, packed with humour and big screen spectacle.

 

 

MARY AND THE WITCH’S FLOWER

Cert U 103mins Stars 4

This fabulous animated adventure is a blooming magical treat for the whole family.

Bored and impetuous, schoolgirl Mary follows a black cat into a forest and is swept off to another world via a witch’s broomstick and a beautiful blue flower.

There the the lines are blurred between animal, vegetable and mechanical, creating an impressively bonkers array of fantastical beasts. Talking animals rub up against talking fire spirits, and grey globular servants of evil.

the voice of Mary is provided by Ruby Barnhill, who you’ll remember being brilliant as Sophie, in Steven Spielberg’s 2016 magical version of Roald Dahl’s, The BFG.

Kate Winslet and Jim Broadbent give full rein to their inner eccentrics as the voices of the principals of a prestigious magic school which hides a dark secret within it’s rainbow coloured corridors.

Based on the book by the Sunderland-born author, Mary Stewart, it’s funny, exciting, charming and gorgeously animated, with every frame bursting with glorious invention.

 

 

 

MONSTER FAMILY

Cert PG  93mins Stars 1

An early contender for the worst family film of 2018, only the naughtiest kids should be exposed to this monstrously poor animated horror show.

A lovelorn Count Dracula orders a witch to magically transform a married mother of two  into a vampire so he can woo her.

Unfortunately her stupid bickering family are also changed into various legendary creatures such as Frankenstein’s monster, and they’re no best pleased.

Pratfalls and fart jokes pad out the script of this repetitive, joyless and charmless mind-numbing drivel.

It’s brought to zombified life by feasting on the creative blood of far superior films such as Pixar’s Incredibles and Adam Sandler’s Hotel Transylvania films, which have sequels out this summer.

Horrifyingly, this is even worse than Tom Cruise’s recent version of the Mummy. 

Emily Watson, Nick Frost, Celia Imrie, Jason Isaacs and Catherine Tate are the British voice talent putting a stake through the heart of their credibility for an easy payday.

 

TAD THE LOST EXPLORER AND THE SECRET OF KING MIDAS

Cert U 85mins Stars 2

This is an unlooked for sequel to a best forgotten Spanish animated adventure.

Tad is a gormless archeology student, part-time construction worker and Indiana Jones wannabee,

Accompanied by a dog, a parrot and an ancient mummy dressed as Carmen Miranda, he blunders off in search off the magical collar of the mythic King Midas. 

Despite the mummy’s many manic declarations of everything being awesome, I was far from convinced.

Instead I found it provocatively wacky, unfunny and loud enough to wake the dead. And possibly even parents having a cheeky nap.

Meanwhile Tad’s love interest has been kidnapped by a limping villainous bad guy, who also wants the collar.

The globetrotting story is a trail of secret passages, underground tombs, creepy crawlies and the mangled debris of historical accuracy.

It rattles along at a rickety pace sufficient to distract younger kids with its knockabout slapstick. My advice would be to get lost before Tad unearths any more exploits.

FERDINAND

Cert U 106mins Stars 3

Films featuring bulls are rare but this one is reasonable well done, so take a butchers at this enjoyably silly animation which has a strong Spanish flavour.

With its goofy characters and lively slapstick there’s no mis-steaking it’s from the same stable as the Ice Age franchise.

Former WWE wrestler John Cena voices a bull caught in the horns of a dilemma between his pacifist nature and his matador fighting physique.

As a calf Ferdinand was adopted by a farmers daughter. But now grown up there’s an incident in a china shop and he’s sent back his birth farm where the other bulls have an historic beef with him.

The beasts battle to take on a preening matador, very akin to turkeys voting for Christmas. However the unsuccessful ones are sent to be mincemeat at the local abattoir.

But it’s all sweet not scary and this will easily cut the mustard with kids too young to see Star Wars.

TOY STORY 4

Cert U 99mins Stars 5

Woody and Buzz Lightyear make a triumphant and tearful return in this terrifically fun-packed and gorgeously animated sequel which is guaranteed to win the toys a whole new generation of fans.

Tom Hanks and Tim Allen return again to voice our loveable heroes and the new characters are funny and adorable, especially the new baby of the group, Forky. and Keanu Reeves speeds by to deliver a wonderfully comic turn as the Evel Knievel-style stuntman, Duke Caboom.

While on a road trip one of the gang is captured by some very sinister dolls in a creepy old antiques shop and the friends rush the rescue, aided by a revitalised Bo Peep, whose absence from the previous film is fully explained.

Her newly independent spirit is a great example of how these characters have been allowed to grow since first appearing in, gulp, 1995, just as we’ve also grown.

Many of the parents who took their kids to the first film will be grandparents now, and the script is careful to speak to members of every generation, with a powerful emphasis on the importance of loyalty to family and friends.

Plus it works as a standalone adventure so little kids will enjoy it even if they haven’t yet seen the first three films.

The practically perfect previous film so comprehensively passed the bar for a five star film, it left enough leeway for this one to be not quite as incredible but still qualify as superb entertainment in its own right.

Rather than go bigger to try and blow our cinematic socks off, this gorgeously animated adventure goes a little smaller to focus on the characters, but still provides as much giddy excitement, joyous humour and heart-melting charm as you’d expect, and delivers a hugely emotional finale which will have you in tears. You have been warned.

THE NUT JOB 2: NUTTY BY NATURE

Cert U 91mins Stars 1

It’s never a positive sign when reviews are embargoed until the day of release, as they were for this animated adventure.

The first movie was a solid win at the box office taking £94m on a £23m budget, and so here we are three years later with an unlooked for sequel to an unloved but reasonably successful movie.

An evil mayor has plans to turn the tranquil green oasis Liberty Park into a cash generating amusement park to line his own pockets. So reluctant hero Surly the squirrel rallies his friends to fend off the diggers.

The first was dim witted and this one aims for lowest common denominator in most departments.

However this does have Chinese megastar Jacki Chan voicing a ninja mouse, presumably parachuted in by the Chinese producers in order to market the film to their local audience.

This may be tolerable only if you’ve exhausted every other avenue of entertaining the kids during the holidays.

 

DESPICABLE ME 3

Cert U 90mins Stars 3

Funny man Steve Carell returns as the voice of despicable villain turned secret agent Gru, and gets into the groove of this bubble gum coloured animated sequel which has a heavy 1980’s influence.

It’s a typically fast paced affair but the madcap charm and invention of earlier episodes is diluted by a jaundiced pandering to parents, a piecemeal plot and a tendency to soap opera.

Plus the real stars have always been the little yellow minions, and would be better off continuing their own spin-off series. They have great moments but are unwisely elbowed aside in favour of a couple of new, less funny characters.

Gru and his family head off to the European backwater of Freedonia, where his long lost brother Dru, lives.

Meanwhile back in the US Balthazar Bratt is a mullet wearing, break dancing, super villain.

He was a 1980s child TV star who wants revenge on Hollywood for cancelling his show. His lair is littered with Rubik cubes and suchlike, while famous songs of the decade from Madonna and so on are crowbarred onto the soundtrack.

This is all a disappointingly cynical attempt to keep the parents and grandparents in the audience happy, while the comic violence entertains the kids. The minions fart jokes are far funnier than the warmed over nostalgia intended to keep me occupied.

With new characters added with every film, the script has a lot of juggling to do to keep everyone occupied, and it feels as if we’re watching a couple of different scripts less than seamlessly stitched together.

I was bored by the scenes where Gru worries about his job and his new wife frets about bonding with their three daughters.

With the Illumination studio developing new films such as mega hit movie Sing, this feels more a stale contractual obligation than a labour of love. And it’s as not as despicably great as previous films.