2018

MARY AND THE WITCH’S FLOWER

Cert U 103mins Stars 4

This fabulous animated adventure is a blooming magical treat for the whole family.

Bored and impetuous, schoolgirl Mary follows a black cat into a forest and is swept off to another world via a witch’s broomstick and a beautiful blue flower.

There the the lines are blurred between animal, vegetable and mechanical, creating an impressively bonkers array of fantastical beasts. Talking animals rub up against talking fire spirits, and grey globular servants of evil.

the voice of Mary is provided by Ruby Barnhill, who you’ll remember being brilliant as Sophie, in Steven Spielberg’s 2016 magical version of Roald Dahl’s, The BFG.

Kate Winslet and Jim Broadbent give full rein to their inner eccentrics as the voices of the principals of a prestigious magic school which hides a dark secret within it’s rainbow coloured corridors.

Based on the book by the Sunderland-born author, Mary Stewart, it’s funny, exciting, charming and gorgeously animated, with every frame bursting with glorious invention.

 

 

 

THE STRANGERS: PREY AT NIGHT

Cert 18 85mins Stars 1

This deathly dull and derivative slasher bravely ignores the tremendous creative resurgence horror films are enjoying.

Movies such as the Oscar nominated Get Out, and apocalypse creature feature, A Quiet Place, have generated big bucks from big thrills.

Instead this is relentlessly unimaginative,mindlessly mirthless and defiantly non-scary.

Plus it’s a great example of the cinematic rule of thumb, which advises avoiding films which are less than 90 minutes, as apart from early Disney cartoons, they’re rubbish.

This belated sequel to the barely remembered 2008 original, laughably claims to be based on true events. It sees an unsympathetic family terrorised by mask-wearing psychopaths in an out-of-season trailer park resort.

Christina Hendricks of TV’s Madmen fame, has had far better luck in tiny arthouse films than in mainstream movies. Her presence is wasted as the mother of two high school kids who I was happy to see tormented.

I’ll pray tonight and ask forgiveness for wasting my time watching this.

 

THE WOUND

Cert 15 88mins Stars 4

Immerse yourself in black South African tribal culture with this eye watering and complex drama.

A group of adolescents initiates gather at a mountain camp to complete a traditional rite of passage, guided by experienced caregivers.

Though this all-male environment is awash with macho homophobic banter and bullying violence, the seclusion allows for closeted gay men to pursue secret trysts.

However sexual jealousy and frustration within a love triangle threatens the stability of those involved.

Filmed on beautiful locations with strong performances, it explores ideas manhood, loyalty and love are explored to the sound of campfire song and dance.

Tribal elders rue the increasing numbers of teenagers refusing to engage with the week-long and now controversial ritual, which Nelson Mandela endured.

As it involves a barbaric anaesthetic- free circumcision, fasting in a grass hut, cold water dips and the slaughter of goats, frankly I can’t blame the lads for staying home and playing video games.

THE DEMINER

Cert 15 83mins Stars 4

Outrageous courage and real-life footage make this bomb disposal documentary a tense and sobering experience.

It’s a humbling tribute to the remarkable Colonel Fakhir Berwari, a Kurd who served in the Iraqi army after the fall of Saddam Hussein.

Hours of footage of him defusing IED’s, land mines and pot bombs was captured on smartphones, transferred to DVD and kept in a family suitcase.

He is armed only with old wire cutters, a broken pickaxe, a devotion to duty and a supreme sense of stoicism. In his first year in Mosul he deactivated over 600 bombs, and in response the US military dubbed him ‘Crazy Fakhir’.

With his wife and eldest son wearing black while interviewed, a sense of doom hangs over the film.

We see him surviving multiple blasts, frequently hospitalised and losing a leg. All of which had me cowering behind my seat every time he disappeared into a doorway, but his indefatigable spirit is never broken.

 

THE GUERNSEY LITERARY AND POTATO PEEL PIE SOCIETY

Cert 12A 124mins Stars 4

Tuck in to this crowd pleasing tasty feast of a post-war detective story. Served with a heart-warming helping of romance, it’s far more satisfying than it sounds.

Star of Disney’s live action Cinderella and formerly of Downton Abbey, Lily James takes centre stage as a successful author called Juliet.

She’s sent to Guernsey in 1946 to write about the eponymous book and cookery club, established by the locals as a self support group during the wartime Nazi occupation.

To underscore the film belongs to James, she’s given a full Hollywood entrance in a stunning yellow ballgown. Always an engaging presence, she sweeps us away with her considerable talent and charm.

Though initially welcomed by the club, its members are reluctant to discuss the whereabouts of the founder member who is mysteriously ‘off island’. So Juliet sets off to uncover the truth of her disappearance.

Very much a love letter to literature of Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters, so true to form our romantically named heroine is caught between the attentions of Glen Powell’s dashing American diplomat, and Michiel Huisman’s hunky book-loving farmer, called Darcy, sorry, Dawsey. 

With complex family loyalties and grief and anger for those lost in the war, the script takes a sideways glance at the UK’s torturous relationship with the European mainland.

This is an exception to the cinematic rule of thumb which says the length of a films’ title is in inverse proportion to its quality. It’s stuffed with rich characters and production design, and set on the picture postcard-pretty island.

Plus there’s great warmth and humour from supporting cast, particularly veteran stars Penelope Wilton and Tom Courtney.

Director Mike Newell is one of the great unsung heroes of British cinema, due to his unassuming signature style which always serves the audience by putting the story first.

The result is a rewarding and entertaining slice of British fare you can really get your teeth into. 

 

OVERBOARD

Cert 12A 112mins Stars 3

Allow yourself to drift along with this sunny and smooth sailing romcom and you’ll not be disappointed with your destination.

Anna Faris plays a struggling single mother, Kate, who convinces Mexico’s Eugenio Derbez’s amnesia-ridden wealthy playboy they’re married.

It’s a gender-flipped remake of the 1987 comedy starring Goldie Hawn as a socialite and Kurt Russell as working-class single father.

As ever Faris brings a wealth of charm and comic ability, and works well with Derbez, who is the one of the best known names in Latin American entertainment.

He plays the dashing and obnoxious Leonardo who lives on a super-yacht filled with bimbos and butlers, with Scots actor John Hannah cruising along as one of the latter.

Having insulted the hard working Kate, Leo later falls overboard drunk, and washes ashore with no memory.

This allows Kate to convince him they are married, enabling he to focus on her nursing exams while he goes out to work and looks after the housework and her three blonde daughters

The youngest two are ridiculously cute and the eldest is a suitably stroppy teen. Kate also enjoys an easy rapport with Eva Longoria, as her best friend, Theresa.

Though the story flounders early on, it finds it’s stroke and rhythm once Leonardo’s rehabilitation gets underway.

It’s all knowingly preposterous, and openly acknowledges its debt to the many appalling but hugely popular daytime Mexican soap operas.

And it’s not afraid to makes points about the extra unpaid domestic work women do after a hard day’s work.

As a wall is built between Mexico and the US in the real world, the film’s cross cultural love across the barricades borders on being a provocative political statement.

Although I was never swept away by the predictable romance and I wasn’t rolling in waves of laughter, it’s harmlessly enjoyable, appropriately forgettable, and a mild improvement on the original.

 

 

INGRID GOES WEST

Cert 15 Stars 3

Mental illness and online celebrity collide in this dark comedy of reinvention.

Always watchable and capable of wonderfully demented degrees of comic intensity, Aubrey Plaza stars as Ingrid.

She travels to Los Angeles to befriend an unwitting Instagram celebrity. Elizabeth Olsen is tremendous as the vain and vacuous object of her attnetions, Taylor Sloane.

Pool parties and cocktails lead to cocaine, kidnapping and blackmail as the over sharing  of ones life leads to negative consequences.

This is a message which is worth repeating, but in doing so the script forgets to put include sufficient laughs or heart.

 

 

MARY MAGDALENE

Cert 12A 119mins Stars 3

This revisionist account of the last days of Jesus is a thoughtful, sombre and respectful discussion of scripture in a modern context.

It’s told from the view of Mary Magdalene who was maligned for millennia as a prostitute, until 2016 when she was officially recognised as true apostle by the Vatican.

I wish it had been braver in pursuing this intriguing and potentially controversial premise.

Rooney Mara is compelling as Mary, who rejects an arranged marriage and undergoes a political and religious awakening in the company of Jesus and his disciples.

She shares a deep spiritual connection with Christ, who is played as a shamanic saviour by Joaquin Phoenix. Interestingly a physical toll is exerted as Jesus performs his miracles such as raising Lazarus from the dead.

We see the blood-soaked crucifixion in an impressively sized Jerusalem. But the crowds are thin, the mighty Roman Empire is suggested rather than seen and there’s little in the way of epic spectacle. 

THE SQUARE

Cert 15 151mins Stars 3

Dominic West takes time out from Tomb Raider to appear as a famous artist in this satirical Swedish drama.

Alongside him is Elisabeth Moss, fresh from her Emmy awarding winning turn in TV’s The Handmaid’s Tale.

As a journalist she has an affair with the smooth curator of a museum of modern art in Stockholm.

Played by Claes Bang, he finds life spiralling out of control as he tries to drum up media interest in his latest exhibition.

Winner of the prestigious Palme d’Or at the 2017 Cannes Film Festival, this is a lengthy exploration of contemporary Sweden society and the gap between its ideals and citizens’ behaviour.

Immaculately photographed, the script expresses its ideas through visual metaphor, but at the expense of drama. 

Mocking the moneyed metropolitan middle class, the most powerful moment comes during a fundraiser where wealthy patrons are assaulted by a semi-naked neanderthal performance artist.

I could have done with more of the monkeying about.

 

 

RED SPARROW

Cert 15 139mins Stars 4

Jennifer Lawrence has her wings clipped by spies, seduction and sexual slavery in this hard hitting thriller with a heavy edge of political comment.

As Dominika she’s a former prima ballerina for the Bolshoi ballet who is recruited by the Russian secret service to seduce foreign agents.

Following her role as a persecuted housewife in last years bonkers art-house fantasy, Mother!, this is another punishing role as an abused woman forLawrence.

Reunited with her Hunger Games director, Francis Lawrence, it’s another tale of a young women coerced by a dictatorial state for a nefarious purpose.

Under Charlotte Rampling’s stern tutorship, Dominika is dehumanised, re-educated and programmed to thrill the enemy.

Graduating as a professional seductress, known as Sparrows, she’s sent to Budapest to hook up with a CIA operative in order to identify an American mole in Moscow.

The earnestly dull Joel Edgerton is our man in the CIA, and the always dull Matthias Schoenaerts plays Dominika’s handler. He’s amusingly made up to resemble Vladimir Putin.

Though handsomely staged on location, this dark tale of manipulation, deception and betrayal is an unapologetically arduous experience, smuggled into cinemas disguised as a glossy blockbuster.

Telling the story is told from the Soviet spies’ point of view, this is a highly critical spin on 007’s From Russia With Love. Far from enjoying a swinging satin sheeted romp with Sean Connery, Dominika’s mission involves a more realistic experience of espionage.

She’s humiliated, abused and raped, all at the behest of powerful and much older men, who are her mentors and supposed protectors.

It’s hard not to read this as a damning critique of Hollywood and a metaphor for an actresses life in the sex scandal environment prior to the #metoo campaign.

We’re supposed to find this superbly crafted film an uneasy watch, and it will disappoint anyone looking for a conscience-free fun time.