EATEN BY LIONS

Cert 12A 95mins Stars 3

This entertaining odd couple comedy takes an affectionate delight in the quirks and eccentricities of modern life as it cheerily explores British attitudes to race and disability.

Antonio Aakeel and Jack Carroll star as hapless half-brothers and the title refers to how the death of Jack’s parents was reported in the media.

Distraught by the death of their beloved and formidable Gran who’s played by Stephanie Fayerman in flashback, they decide to find Omar’s long absent father and the Bradford duo head off to Blackpool.

Johnny Vegas as a grubby guest house owner greets them sporting an alarming gold lame dressing gown, and the squabbling siblings’ detective work leads them to gatecrash an engagement party, which leads to scenes of sniggering embarrassment.

Written and directed by Jason Wingard and based on his award winning short film, this is sweet and silly, with engaging performances, plus it fully exploits the comic potential of Chesney Hawkes single, ‘I am the one and Only.’

SHAZAM!

Cert 12A 131mins Stars 4

Magic and monsters cause mayhem in this terrific crowd pleasing superhero romp which doubles as a body swap comedy. 

This confident seventh instalment in the increasingly lighthearted, bright and colourful, DC Extended Universe, takes place in same world as the recent billion dollar success, Aquaman, but don’t hold their breath waiting for the king of Atlantis to turn up.

Billy is a teenage orphan who while searching for his mother, finds himself endowed with extraordinary powers and unlooked-for responsibility.

Following an encounter with a wizard, whenever Billy says the magic word, ‘Shazam’, he’s magically transformed into an adult superhero, with strength, speed and the ability to shoot electric bolts from his fingertips.

Asher Angel is fresh faced and likeable as 14 year old Billy, with an exuberantly gleeful and goofy Zachary Levi, as his super-powered alter-ego.

The script owes a lot to Tom Hanks’ 1988 comedy, Big, and pays homage to it during a fight in a department store, while the films energy has the wide-eyed excitable tone of 1980’s kid caper, The Goonies.

As Billy learns to control his powers, the warm family dynamic of his diverse foster family provides a strong emotional grounding to the fantasy elements.

It’s here we meet Faithe Herman as Billy’s foster sister Darla, a delightful pocket-sized scene-stealing charmer.

Packed with jokes, this is funnier than Deadpool and has more laughs than Kick Ass, plus it’s also much kinder and far more appropriate for a family audience.

Brit actor Mark Strong played the bad guy in Kick Ass, and appears here as a super-villain who’s hunting Shazam to steal his powers, and is involved in all the flashy CGI action such as magic realms, scary demons, and mid-air fights.

Yet Shazam!’s greatest strength is knowing superheroes were created as a wish fulfilment fantasy for lonely adolescents, and is all the more enjoyable when putting them centre stage.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME

Cert 12A 181mins Stars 5

It’s game over for Marvel’s competition as their latest superhero spectacular smashes into cinemas like the Hulk on steroids, and is the thunderous triumph we’ve all been hoping for.

With a multitude of famous faces battling to save the universe through extraordinary action sequences powered by eye-popping CGI, it builds on eleven years of consistently high-calibre storytelling to deliver the blockbuster of the decade.

Robert Downey Jnr., Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth return as the surviving Avengers, Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor, with Marvel milking their talent, charisma and combustible chemistry for all their considerable scene-stealing worth in this ridiculously entertaining popcorn adventure.

This follows on from the events of last year’s extraordinary Avengers: Infinity War, where half the world’s population and many of our favourite heroes were killed off.

The surviving Avengers who also include as Mark Ruffalo’s Hulk and Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow, are consumed by grief and anger, yet resolve to avenge their fallen brethren by defeating the intergalactic warlord, Thanos.

However what keeps the result always in doubt is Josh Brolin’s compellingly meaty and intelligent turn as the supremely confident and all-powerful villain.

Of course this time the Avengers have a last minute substitute arrive in the form of Brie Larson’s Captain Marvel, and her awesome cosmic ability and mischievous smirk firms up everyone’s resolve.

She’s adds a welcome extra dimension to the male-dominated camaraderie and helps address the significant gender imbalance by being at least as powerful of any of the men, and for being far from content at taking orders.

With a three hour runtime full of shocks, stuns and surprises, this hugely emotional finale will have fans cheering at the desperate heroism on show, and move them to tears as various plot-lines develop.

This easily matches The Lord Of The Rings: The Return of the King, for magnificent scope and sweep, and that epic equalled the all-time best Oscar haul with 11 wins.

Though I don’t believe this will similarly sweep the board at the Academy Awards, it’s clear Marvel have a best picture Oscar in their sights as their endgame, and I’m not betting against them getting it.

PET SEMATARY (2019)

Cert 15 101mins Stars 2

Eternal suffering is threatened in this desperate Stephen King adaptation, and by the end of this torturously stupid supernatural horror I felt I’d been tormented more than enough.

It’s the second big screen version of Stephen King’s 1983 novel and though fans may appreciate its earnest approach and fidelity to the source material, I struggle to stomach his addled hokum at the best of times and this had me giggling at all the wrong moments.

Jason Clarke and Amy Seimetz play a suburban couple who move their children to a farm in the country which they discover contains a burial ground for local pets.

After experiencing nightmares and hallucinations, they’re surprisingly relaxed when their pet cat returns from the grave, which triggers a violent chain of silly not sinister events characterised by poor dialogue and fake looking sets.

Jete Laurence as their daughter Ellie gives a good account of herself, but the rest of the cast seemed as bored as I was. 

DIEGO MARADONA

Cert 12A 130mins Stars 4

This gobsmacking documentary about the magnificently flawed Argentinian footballing genius is a must-see for the ‘hand of god’ goal generation.

The infamous incident defeated England and helped him to almost singlehandedly, ahem, power his country to success at the 1986 Mexico World Cup, as well as cementing his contradictory image as a cheat and hero.

But that’s only the prelude to a glittering period of superstardom tarnished by a spectacular fall from grace, which involved cocaine addiction, and being banned from playing.

He drove unfashionable and unsuccessful Italian club side, Napoli, to two top-flight championships in Italy’s brutally savage Serie A, and to European success.

In doing so Maradona roused a proud city, inspired the region and became worshipped with an almost religious fervour, which is a terrible height to fall from.

Napoli’s Stadio San Paolo is a concrete gladiatorial arena full of flags and flares, and is packed for a riotous press conference where Maradona is first unveiled to the home supporters.

Whatever team you were supporting in 1987, it can’t have been as much fun as supporting Maradona’s Napoli. Mind you, if you thought the terrace songs of English football fans were sick and disgusting, you should hear the Italians in full voice.

It’s a look at a remarkable age of football from an age before players were obsessed with personal branding and access became limited to their immaculate online instagram lives, as for example, Lionel Messi, or Christiano Ronaldo.

Touching upon Maradona’s poverty stricken childhood, we see the pressure of his being the family breadwinner from age of 15 years old. And there are interviews with girlfriends and his personal trainer.

Oscar winning director Asif Kapadia, previously produced celebrated documentaries on singer Amy Winehouse, and racer Ayrton Senna, but where their untimely tragic deaths provide a strong narrative framework, here Kapadia has to create one, and it feels forced and arbitrary.

To emphasise the psychological importance of the accusation of his fathering a child, the narrative is mostly limited to Maradona’s career with Italy’s FC Napoli, meaning Argentina’s calamitous campaign in 1994’s USA World Cup is bizarrely excluded.

However it’s a victory for research and editing and uses a wealth of astonishing never seen before footage, accompanied by a soundtrack as winning as the football.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DIVISION 19

Cert 15 93mins Stars 2

This ambitious dystopian sci-fi doesn’t lack for interesting ideas, but is guilty of terrible incoherence, a near terminal over-serious tone and lacklustre action.

In the near future the government keeps the population under control through strict surveillance and identity control.

Prisoners are now reality TV stars used by companies to sell consumer products to the citizens. This is a great satirical concept and is deserving of a far better movie.

Division 19 is the underground resistance who exist off the security grid, and plan to rescue the world’s most popular prisoner to dent an evil corporations profit-swelling expansionist plans.

Jamie Dravin is a sadly anodyne hero, Linus Rosche riffs on Alan Rickman as the sheriff of Nottingham in Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and the film’s one undoubted bright spot is Alison Doody’s immaculate and villainous CEO.

The abandoned areas of modern Detroit make for a suitably apocalyptic backdrop and has featured in many films previously, notably in Ryan Gosling’s 2014 directorial debut, Lost River, which was shot concurrently.

But there’s no sense of geography or distance between locations, and while low flying skyscraper-sized satellites fill the skies, the quality of the CGI makes they seem tacked on rather than organic part of the world. In a similar manner robots appear briefly and randomly, and seem to be there to offer fleeting comic relief, but it’s hard to be sure.

Meanwhile the roof-hopping parkour action is leaden and dated, and the downtrodden masses are conspicuous by their absence.

From Westworld to Mad Max the influences are obvious, but this feels like a clumsy fan-fiction low-budget episode of the Divergent franchise.

MISSING LINK

Cert PG 95mins Stars 4

Hugh Jackman leads an all-star cast to a high old time in the Himalayas in this delightful animated comedy full of family fun and excitement.

With engaging energy and charm the Aussie actor plays a 19th century English aristocratic adventurer searching for the missing link between humans and apes.

A sighting of the legendary Sasquatch in the US leads to a madcap whistle-stop journey by steamship, locomotive, stagecoach and elephant, from the Wild West to the fabled city of Shangri-La.

Along for the ride are Zoe Saldana and Zach Galifianakis, with wonderful support from Brits Emma Thompson and David Walliams.

Astonishing heights of craftsmanship mix the richly detailed texture of traditional stop-motion animation with beautiful CGI vistas to glorious effect.

The producers were deservedly Oscar nominated in 2017 for their wonderful fable, Kubo and the Two Strings, and though this more mainstream adventure feels a tiny evolutionary step backwards by their lofty standards, it’s still a wonderful early Easter treat.

WILD ROSE

Cert 15 100mins Stars 4

Music and motherhood create spiky discord in this honest, raucous and irrepressible British musical drama, which is as full of heartache and hardship as the foot-tapping Country tunes which power the story.

Irish actress Jessie Buckley won renown last year for her riveting big screen debut turn in the terrific thriller, Beast, and here she’s staggeringly great as Rose-Lynn, a Glaswegian sweary single-mum who aspires to singing stardom in Nashville.

No retiring wall flower, Rose is immature and untamed as she struggles with the harsh truths of choosing between her kids and her dreams, but her passion and vulnerability makes us root for her.

And she’s the thorn in the side of her put-upon mother, Julie Walters, who responds by giving her most affecting performance in years as she copes with her daughter’s chaos.

The grandkids are generally un-impressed by the adults except when Buckley’s extraordinary voice belts out her own compositions, as she demonstrates why this Rose is blooming marvellous.

HELLBOY (2019)

Cert 15 121mins Stars 2

Unrepentant for its blood-splattered gore, this comic book comedy horror reboot is brash, noisy and violent, reflecting the demonic character at the heart of the CGI-heavy action.

Under deadening layers of makeup, actor David Harbour tries manfully to bring life to Hellboy, a truculent government field agent attempting to prevent Milla Jovovich’s resurrected fifth century sorceress from starting the apocalypse.

Though as she wants to save us all from the hell of Reality TV, I don’t think she’s all that evil.

Rattling around England in pursuit of a decent script, Hellboy is accompanied by Sasha Lane’s very modern fortune teller, and a SWAT team leader with a secret agenda of his own.

As Hellboy’s adoptive father and boss of the US paranormal research bureau where Hellboy works, Ian McShane uses every ounce of his foul-mouthed and scene-stealing experience to bring energy and humour to this frequently flat exercise.

This is a very different beast to Hellboy’s previous cinematic incarnation in a pair of films from over a decade ago. Original director and writer, Guillermo del Toro, bailed out and went off to win Oscars for his fishy romance, The Shape of Water.

And fans of his elegant and stylish version will be horrified by way director, Neil Marshall, brings a much more action-orientated approach.

Clearly the genial Geordie was watching the same video nasties I saw growing up, and indulges his taste for gory thrills first seen in his 2002 werewolf debut, Dog Soldiers.

Throwing in an army of demons, flaming weapons, shoot-outs and Scouser Stephen Graham as a half-human warthog, it’s evident Marshall shares with Terry Gilliam a love of fairytales and Arthurian legend as well as a gleeful taste for the grotesque. 

But there’s little tension or chemistry, the CGI looks cheap, and the hardworking editing disguises a lot of sins, leaving this to feel more like purgatory than a hellish good time.

 

WONDER PARK

Cert PG 85mins Stars 3

This bright and breezy animated adventure is a rollercoaster of fun for younger kids which will keep them entertained while it lasts but probably won’t have them pestering you for a second ride.

June is fearless young inventor who emotionally withdraws when her mother is taken ill, but running into a magical forest she encounters the Wonderland theme park which previously existed only in her imagination.

It’s strangely overgrown and deserted except for five talking animals trying to save the park being destroyed by a swarm of zombie monkey toys, who are a lot cuter and less scary than they sound.

YouTube stars Joe Sugg and Caspar Lee join an impressive voice cast of Jennifer Garner, Matthew Broderick and Mila Kunis, but they’re all outshone by my favourite Dr Who, Tom Baker, who’s enjoying himself immensely as a big blue bear.

Although not as ‘splendiferous’ as characters repeatedly insist, any film which encourages children to value their dads is OK with me.