2019

GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS

Cert 12A 131mins Stars 2

This super-sized creature feature with a pea for a brain stomps into cinemas intent on ruling the box office by squashing the audience into submission.

A sequel to 2014’s visually gorgeous but dramatically sterile Hollywood reboot of Japan’s most iconic export, this is a screaming CGI assault on storytelling as well the senses.

As giant reptiles threaten all human life, it’s up to Godzilla to restore order and balance to the planet, aided by a plucky band of scientists and soldiers armed with nothing but heavily armed hi-tech bunkers, battleships and fighter jets.

Neither Aaron Taylor-Johnson or Elizabeth Olsen return so humanity’s survival rests on the ability of ‘B’ list middle-aged leading man Kyle Chandler to deliver pitifully poor dialogue with the maximum dignity a fine actor can muster knowing his agent has sold him a ginormous pup.

As Dr. Mark Russell, he’s determined to rescue his teenage daughter Millie Bobby Brown, and ex-wife Vera Farmiga, from a host of ancient monsters who are battling for supremacy.

Sally Hawkins and Ken Watanabe reprise their roles as anxious and awe-filled scientists who stand around and throw scraps of info to the audience.

While this delivers on its promise of epic monster action, this is an adventure which manages to make a staggering dull spectacle of someone scrabbling through an ancient lost city being consumed by lava to defibrillate a giant monster with a nuclear warhead.

Plus the script suggests we live in a world where massively powerful secretive global corporations are a force for good, while eco warriors are evil, and nuclear weapons have health giving properties.

Any film with the smallest degree of self-awareness or irony could have a lot of fun with these topsy turvy concepts, but not this one.

While the beasts have every excuse to be lumbering, incoherent and boring, this expensively assembled wannabe blockbuster has none whatsoever.

HALE COUNTY IN THE MORNING, THIS EVENING

Cert 15 72mins Stars 3

Take a trip to the deep south of the US with this revealing and heartfelt documentary which offers a poetic portrait of the low wage population as they struggle to thrive and survive.

Director RaMell Ross was deeply embedded in the community while managing a youth program and this afforded him extraordinary excess with which to capture his subjects at their most relaxed and off-guard, though he sensitively retreats to a discreet distance when attending a funeral.

With an approach to filming which is almost experimental with oblique angles, brash colour and time lapse photography, his restless camera hangs on their shoulders as locals hang out, goof around and jam in a variety of musical styles including blues and rap.

This award winner at last year’s prestigious Sundance Film Festival is a showcase for the human spirit and offers a taste of America which is much overlooked, and is sometimes sweet, occasionally tough, but surprisingly rarely bitter.

THE HIGHWAYMEN

Cert 15 Stars 3

Bonnie and Clyde were the Great Depression era outlaw killers whose definitive screen portrayals were by Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty in Arthur Penn’s 1967 masterpiece.

With little new to say about them, this handsomely mounted period crime drama is focused on the lawmen who tracked the duo down.

There’s no hardship in keeping company with class acts Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson as the Texas Rangers brought out of retirement by Kathy Bates’ state governor. 

Their humour and wry chemistry give a dignified gloss to a standard tale of two good old boys rediscovering self-worth in later life.

STAN AND OLLIE

Cert PG 98mins Stars 4

Hats off to Steve Coogan and John C. Reilly who don the famous bowlers of Hollywood’s  most popular double act and do delightful justice to the supreme slapstick talent of Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy.

Blessed with two modern performers at the top of their game, this funny, affectionate and respectful tribute is also surprisingly moving as it touches on age, fame and friendship, with an array of headwear charting the state of their messy relationship.

Sixteen years after an acrimonious split at the height of their big screen stardom, it’s now 1953 and the pair arrive in Newcastle Upon Tyne for a live tour of England’s low rent theatres, intended to showcase their talent with the hopes of catapulting them back to the big time in film.

Dogged by ill-health and financial issues, their fans believe them long retired,  younger generations don’t recognise them, and to add to the pressure their formidable wives are flying in with high expectations.

Played by the waspish Shirley Henderson and Nina Arianda, they’re a scene-stealing double act whose comic chemistry is a venomous echo of the mens.

Coogan and Reilly bring out the competitive best in each other and perfectly capture Stan and Ollie’s famous mannerisms to an almost unnervingly accurate degree.

Their affecting and testy relationship have us believe they’ve spent years together honing their act as they deliver the familiar evergreen gags with great skill and immaculate timing.

Stan And Ollie is nominated for Best British film at this year’s BAFTAs which also sees Coogan nominated for Best Actor as he again demonstrates what a skilled dramatic actor he is, while Reilly was nominated for Best Comedy Actor at this weeks Golden Globes.

But as Stan says, ‘you can’t have Hardy without Laurel’, and it’s as a team they bring heart and humanity to this poignant portrait and a long overdue celebration of a pair of comedy giants.

 

 

 

 

FIVE FEET APART

Cert 12A 116mins Stars 3

Sex means death in this teen romance which doubles as a disease awareness-raising drama.

Haley Lu Richardson and Cole Sprouse are a sweetly charming photogenic pair of patients, who meet in hospital while undergoing treatment for cystic fibrosis.

There is no cure for the genetic lung disorder which considerably shortens life expectancy. Five feet is the distance they must keep apart to minimise risk of a potentially fatal cross-infection, and touching and kissing are forbidden.

There are shades of the vampire Twilight series in their forced abstinence of contact, as well as noticeable nods to Kate Winslet’s epic romance in Titanic.

Based on the novel by Rachael Lippincott and dedicated to campaigner, Claire Wineland, it touches briefly on the financial cost of treatment and thankfully keeps the vomiting and other side effects down to a manageable degree.

If a little too much of the dialogue sounds like a teenage inspirational instagram post, then at least the film knows its target audience.

DUMBO

Cert PG 112mins Stars 3

Disney’s mission to remake their classic animated films with a blend of live-action and CGI loses hard-earned goodwill with this disappointingly tame and heavy-footed fantasy adventure.

Competent but rarely endearing or involving, the story again treads the path of a young big-eared circus elephant, called Dumbo, who longs to be reunited with his mother.

When a chance encounter with a feather reveals a talent for flying, it makes him a star of the show, and brings him to the attention of an villainous impresario.

1941’s much loved original is a charmingly brief tale drunk on trippy invention and which won an Oscar for its musical score.

This is a very different beast and though it offers an all-star cast and some spectacle, it’s nearly twice as long with a barely a song of note, and lacks sufficient warmth and humour.

The performing pachyderm himself is a leathery lump of CGI who is sidelined in his own film in favour of the likeable Irishman, Colin Farrell.

He plays a one-armed single parent who after military service returns to work in the circus, where he struggles to reconnect with his kids.

With a long standing fascination with the circus and a track record in creating big budget mainstream fantasies such as Disney’s 2010 billion dollar box office smash, Alice In Wonderland, Tim Burton is a safe and predictable but far from inspired choice as director.

He’s recruited regular collaborators to help out, but Danny DeVito’s struggling circus owner isn’t as funny as the film thinks he is, Eva Green is stilted as a trapeze artiste, and Michael Keaton lacks his familiar fiendish energy.

Circus acts such as jugglers and contortionists are often busy in the background of scenes, and are possibly there to compensate for the lack of magic and excitement in the big ring, which fails to capture all the fun of the fair.

EATEN BY LIONS

Cert 12A 95mins Stars 3

This entertaining odd couple comedy takes an affectionate delight in the quirks and eccentricities of modern life as it cheerily explores British attitudes to race and disability.

Antonio Aakeel and Jack Carroll star as hapless half-brothers and the title refers to how the death of Jack’s parents was reported in the media.

Distraught by the death of their beloved and formidable Gran who’s played by Stephanie Fayerman in flashback, they decide to find Omar’s long absent father and the Bradford duo head off to Blackpool.

Johnny Vegas as a grubby guest house owner greets them sporting an alarming gold lame dressing gown, and the squabbling siblings’ detective work leads them to gatecrash an engagement party, which leads to scenes of sniggering embarrassment.

Written and directed by Jason Wingard and based on his award winning short film, this is sweet and silly, with engaging performances, plus it fully exploits the comic potential of Chesney Hawkes single, ‘I am the one and Only.’

SHAZAM!

Cert 12A 131mins Stars 4

Magic and monsters cause mayhem in this terrific crowd pleasing superhero romp which doubles as a body swap comedy. 

This confident seventh instalment in the increasingly lighthearted, bright and colourful, DC Extended Universe, takes place in same world as the recent billion dollar success, Aquaman, but don’t hold their breath waiting for the king of Atlantis to turn up.

Billy is a teenage orphan who while searching for his mother, finds himself endowed with extraordinary powers and unlooked-for responsibility.

Following an encounter with a wizard, whenever Billy says the magic word, ‘Shazam’, he’s magically transformed into an adult superhero, with strength, speed and the ability to shoot electric bolts from his fingertips.

Asher Angel is fresh faced and likeable as 14 year old Billy, with an exuberantly gleeful and goofy Zachary Levi, as his super-powered alter-ego.

The script owes a lot to Tom Hanks’ 1988 comedy, Big, and pays homage to it during a fight in a department store, while the films energy has the wide-eyed excitable tone of 1980’s kid caper, The Goonies.

As Billy learns to control his powers, the warm family dynamic of his diverse foster family provides a strong emotional grounding to the fantasy elements.

It’s here we meet Faithe Herman as Billy’s foster sister Darla, a delightful pocket-sized scene-stealing charmer.

Packed with jokes, this is funnier than Deadpool and has more laughs than Kick Ass, plus it’s also much kinder and far more appropriate for a family audience.

Brit actor Mark Strong played the bad guy in Kick Ass, and appears here as a super-villain who’s hunting Shazam to steal his powers, and is involved in all the flashy CGI action such as magic realms, scary demons, and mid-air fights.

Yet Shazam!’s greatest strength is knowing superheroes were created as a wish fulfilment fantasy for lonely adolescents, and is all the more enjoyable when putting them centre stage.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME

Cert 12A 181mins Stars 5

It’s game over for Marvel’s competition as their latest superhero spectacular smashes into cinemas like the Hulk on steroids, and is the thunderous triumph we’ve all been hoping for.

With a multitude of famous faces battling to save the universe through extraordinary action sequences powered by eye-popping CGI, it builds on eleven years of consistently high-calibre storytelling to deliver the blockbuster of the decade.

Robert Downey Jnr., Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth return as the surviving Avengers, Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor, with Marvel milking their talent, charisma and combustible chemistry for all their considerable scene-stealing worth in this ridiculously entertaining popcorn adventure.

This follows on from the events of last year’s extraordinary Avengers: Infinity War, where half the world’s population and many of our favourite heroes were killed off.

The surviving Avengers who also include as Mark Ruffalo’s Hulk and Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow, are consumed by grief and anger, yet resolve to avenge their fallen brethren by defeating the intergalactic warlord, Thanos.

However what keeps the result always in doubt is Josh Brolin’s compellingly meaty and intelligent turn as the supremely confident and all-powerful villain.

Of course this time the Avengers have a last minute substitute arrive in the form of Brie Larson’s Captain Marvel, and her awesome cosmic ability and mischievous smirk firms up everyone’s resolve.

She’s adds a welcome extra dimension to the male-dominated camaraderie and helps address the significant gender imbalance by being at least as powerful of any of the men, and for being far from content at taking orders.

With a three hour runtime full of shocks, stuns and surprises, this hugely emotional finale will have fans cheering at the desperate heroism on show, and move them to tears as various plot-lines develop.

This easily matches The Lord Of The Rings: The Return of the King, for magnificent scope and sweep, and that epic equalled the all-time best Oscar haul with 11 wins.

Though I don’t believe this will similarly sweep the board at the Academy Awards, it’s clear Marvel have a best picture Oscar in their sights as their endgame, and I’m not betting against them getting it.

PET SEMATARY (2019)

Cert 15 101mins Stars 2

Eternal suffering is threatened in this desperate Stephen King adaptation, and by the end of this torturously stupid supernatural horror I felt I’d been tormented more than enough.

It’s the second big screen version of Stephen King’s 1983 novel and though fans may appreciate its earnest approach and fidelity to the source material, I struggle to stomach his addled hokum at the best of times and this had me giggling at all the wrong moments.

Jason Clarke and Amy Seimetz play a suburban couple who move their children to a farm in the country which they discover contains a burial ground for local pets.

After experiencing nightmares and hallucinations, they’re surprisingly relaxed when their pet cat returns from the grave, which triggers a violent chain of silly not sinister events characterised by poor dialogue and fake looking sets.

Jete Laurence as their daughter Ellie gives a good account of herself, but the rest of the cast seemed as bored as I was.