The Retro Movie Review. Series 1. Episode 3. Shaft
The Retro Movie Review. Series 1. Episode 2. Vanishing Point
The Retro Movie Review. Series 1. Episode 1. The Devils
TMNT2: Out Of The Shadows
Director: Dave Green (2016)
Get your nunchuks at the ready as the four pizza loving and crime fighting turtles leap into the limelight with a surprisingly improved sequel to 2014’s rubbish reboot.
It’s a violent comic book adventure full of knowingly stupid fun, manic energy and big budget special effects spectacle.
Arch-enemy master criminal Shredder escapes prison and plans to rule the world by building an inter dimensional teleportation device and importing a giant, flying, self assembling mega weapon.
It’s up to the turtles to stop the invasion, embrace their true selves and win public acceptance. Awww.
There’s explosions, car crashes, martial arts moves, a punk haired rhino henchman and the best squid-brained robotic super villain ever seen in the cinema.
The abs, thighs, boobs and immobile forehead of Megan Fox returns as human sidekick April O’Neil, who only remembers she’s a news reporter at the end of the film.
★★☆☆☆
The Nice Guys
Director: Shane Black (2016)
Since his first writing success with Mel Gibson’s Lethal Weapon (1987), writer/director Shane Black has spent his career creating crowd pleasing action comedies.
After recent blockbuster superhero success with Iron Man 3 (2013) he’s back with another smartly written, explosive and character driven adventure, riffing on Los Angeles detective noir such as Chinatown (1974) LA Confidential (1997) and The Big Lebowski (1998), among many others.
If you’re as in the dark to what’s going on as the dimwitted detective duo, don’t worry. An opaque plot is a vital element of the genre. Other hallmarks present and correct are the voice over, a dead glamour model, a bag of cash, sinister doctors and a corporate conspiracy.
In typical style Black ramps up the action but finds his normally sharp comic dialogue is subdued by the pot headed sun kissed California vibe. Nor can he resist including an unnecessary trademark Christmas scene.
However Black’s writing has reached sufficient maturity to splice together porn movies and car adverts in a scathing commentary of both industries.
Plus a degree of satirical self knowledge is needed to write a script set in Hollywood where a character dodges bullets to save a canister of celluloid of utmost importance to solving a murder.
Heavy weight Russell Crowe teams up with a comically dim Ryan Gosling as the ironically titled leads.
As mismatched down market private detectives Healy and March, they’re employed to solve the case of a missing teenager in 1970’s Los Angeles.
Though a pair of cynical, violent alcoholics in true noir style, this is disguised by their easy screen charisma and laid back chemistry.
Kim Basinger and Margaret Qualley are strong support as a mother and daughter at the centre of the story.
Our point of view of proceedings is guided by March’s 13 year old daughter Holly. Angourie Rice is terrific as the bright, brave, street wise moral conscience of the film.
Her sweet nature proves these nice guys aren’t all bad and Black is continuing to improve.
★★★★☆
Me Before You
Director: Thea Sharrock (2016)
Get your hankies at the ready for this modern day old fashioned romantic weepie.
Based on the best selling novel by Jojo Moyes, it’s derivative, sentimental and impervious to the charms of subtlety. But it is effective.
Two fabulously attractive young people are brought together by tragedy. Once they’ve fallen in love those same circumstances threaten to tear them apart.
Sporty banker William loses the use of his legs and arms while lowly waitress Louisa loses her job. Their fates collide when she takes a job as his carer.
Emilia Clarke and Sam Claflin have a hugely engaging chemistry and the film succeeds on the strength of their charm and talent.
The puppyish enthusiasm of Clarke and her incredibly expressive eyebrows contrast nicely with Claflin’s remarkably still sneer.
William teaches Louisa culture and she helps him lighten up. But his strong views on his condition threatens to cast a permanent shadow on their potential happiness.
It’s best imagined as a British version of Pretty Woman (1990) where Richard Gere is in a wheelchair and Julia Robert’s hooker is now an obliging nurse played by the ditzy younger sister of Bridget Jones (2001).
A snow clad castle dominates the chocolate box scenery as they visit the races and a concert of classical music.
It would be too easy to mock the One Nation Tory politics underpinning this twist on the Cinderella story.
It’s a fairytale world where the landed gentry casually bestow jobs on the feckless and bitter unemployed working classes. Plus there’s a singular avoidance of the practical hardships of being quadriplegic.
However Me Before You doesn’t pretend or aspire to be a movie with a social conscience.
There isn’t any ambition beyond making you smile through a bucket of tears and on that score it’s an undoubted success.
Charles Dance and Janet McTeer provide gravitas as William’s parents and Dr Who’s Jenna Coleman appears as Louisa’s single parent sister. Joanna Lumley breezes through as a fragrant wedding guest.
Clarke is famed for her frequent nudity on TV’s Game of Thrones but here keeps her curves under wraps.
This tearjerker won’t be the last performance which has Clarke’s fans reaching for the tissues.
★★★☆☆
Warcraft: The Beginning
Director: Duncan Jones (2016)
Feeling defeated after two hours of crushing cartoon violence, I beat a hasty retreat from this fantasy adventure.
Two worlds go to war in this combination of live action and state of the art animation.
Using motion capture technology, every sabre toothed hairy backed orc is lovingly rendered by photorealistic motion capture. They combat actors sporting lovingly detailed suits of armour.
It’s based on a hugely popular online video game and is set in a extraordinarily designed Tolkienesque world of humans, orcs, dwarves, elves and wizards.
But it’s a sadly underpowered drama of unfathomable mythology and unexplained geography.
Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystal (1982) seems to be a distant visual relative though Warcraft lacks its charm and clear narrative.
Although there’s no A list cast names, Warcraft possesses a recognised brand, a healthy budget and an up and coming director with a passion for the project.
But after this humdrum opener, it’s tricky to see how it will power the intended franchise to continued success.
There’s little sense of the early promise of Jones directorial career which kicked off with the smart and intimate sci fi thriller Moon (2009). It is an intelligent and intimate chamber piece. His follow up Source Code (2011) was less strong and now Warcraft completes a downward trajectory from which I hope he will recover.
A self confessed super fan of the game, Jones creates a world of extraordinary visual depth. With the excited air of a wayward puppy he rushes about to include as much of it as possible.
This is to the detriment of the dramatic tone which mostly occurs within a narrow bandwith, hovering at the level of Saturday morning kids TV.
A major contributing factor in the magnificence of Peter Jackson’s The Lord Of The Rings (2001-03) trilogy was having the good fortune to be based on the writings of an Oxford scholar and the canny casting of experienced Shakespearean actors to give his dialogue gravitas. An under reliance on computer imagery helped enormously to ground the fantastical elements.
There’s a noticeable lack of such rich cultural heritage here. This is a shame as buried deep down is a cracking old fashioned story of family, betrayal and star crossed lovers.
Daniel Wu glowers as Gul’dan, a powerful orc shaman whose world is dying. Human sacrifice powers his evil green magic which he uses to open a portal into the peaceful human kingdom of Azeroth.
He sends through his fearsome orc warriors to conquer it, crushing their enemies with a signature move of using huge hammers to slam them bloodlessly into the ground.
The orcs are awesome looking eight foot tall humanoids. Pneumatically muscled and sabre toothed, they dress in in the skulls and furs of defeated foes.
Defending their land against the horde are a collection of wizards and warriors. They’re led by a puzzled looking Dominic Cooper who plays King Llane.
I shared his confusion as the story whizzes from castle to battle to floating fortress in the sky.
Travis Fimmel’s knight and Paula Patton’s green skinned half orc captive are given the best of the scarce humour. The way these two characters are brought together and assume greater prominence is one of the film’s few strengths.
As orcs who question Gul’dan’s vicious regime, Toby Kebbell and Anna Galvin give the most effecting performances and share a personal chemistry notably lacking almost everywhere else.
On the eve of the final battle, the King gives us two words from Shakespeare’s Henry V Agincourt speech before rushing off for yet another fight. This suggests a lack of confidence in the attention span of the audience.
As everyone struggles with the functional dialogue, CGI armies slash, stab and slay. A lot of casualties are reduced to husks when their life force is sucked out of them.
It’s a risk unwary viewers will share.
★★☆☆☆
Love And Friendship
Director: Walt Stillman (2016)
Like TV’s Downton Abbey but with wit and considerably better breeding, this adaptation of Jane Austen’s novella Lady Susan is an elegant waspish joy.
There’s corsets for the ladies and mutton chops for the chaps. With a full carriage of wealthy suitors, impoverished friends and watchful servants, it’s a sharp eyed trot though the drawing rooms of nineteenth century stately homes.
Kate Beckinsale is ravishing in scarlet as the penniless widow out to secure a good marriage for herself and her daughter. As young Frederica an impressive Morfydd Clark suffers her mother’s machinations with determined grace.
Tom Bennett is marvellously silly as the stupid, wealthy and available Sir James Martin. Chloe Sevigny, Jemma Redgrave and Stephen Fry are swept up with the gossip, intrigue and social commentary as it flits between London the crisp English countryside.
Under the comic assault of Austen’s withering writing, the cast contrive to keep a straight face with far more success than I managed to do.
Though the selfish, arrogant and manipulative Lady Susan is a collection of unattractive traits, we warm to her because she is alarmingly funny, decisive, intelligent and not to be denied her pleasure because society frowns upon her doing so.
It would be intriguing to read Austen’s thoughts on the gender divide in 2016, a year in which it’s possible to argue this year’s best role for a fortysomething actress was written by herself 200 years ago.
★★★★☆
Minuscule: Valley of the Lost Ants
Director: Helene Giraud, Thomas Szabo (2016)
The hills are alive with the sound of ant music in this award winning animated adventure for the little ones.
On an Alpine meadow a lost young ladybird achieves heroic stature among a colony of black ants.
First she helps them transport a tin of sugar cubes to their nest and then comes up with a daring plan to defend it from an antagonistic army of red ants.
Cartoon battling bugs are combined with real outdoor locations in a sweet retro fashion.
The insects communicate with a series of appealing whistles and raspberries. With no dialogue it’s easy to follow the story.
This is a late release in the UK and timed to capitalise on the school half term holiday. In 2014 it was the winner of the Cesar Award for Best Animated Feature Film at the 40th Cesar Awards, beating out the fabulous Irish folk tale Song Of The Sea (a 2015 UK release).
Charming, comic and with a gentle eco message, this is an anthem to the virtues of kindness, bravery and friendship.
★★★☆☆
chrishunneysett.uk 
You must be logged in to post a comment.