2018

TAD THE LOST EXPLORER AND THE SECRET OF KING MIDAS

Cert U 85mins Stars 2

This is an unlooked for sequel to a best forgotten Spanish animated adventure.

Tad is a gormless archeology student, part-time construction worker and Indiana Jones wannabee,

Accompanied by a dog, a parrot and an ancient mummy dressed as Carmen Miranda, he blunders off in search off the magical collar of the mythic King Midas. 

Despite the mummy’s many manic declarations of everything being awesome, I was far from convinced.

Instead I found it provocatively wacky, unfunny and loud enough to wake the dead. And possibly even parents having a cheeky nap.

Meanwhile Tad’s love interest has been kidnapped by a limping villainous bad guy, who also wants the collar.

The globetrotting story is a trail of secret passages, underground tombs, creepy crawlies and the mangled debris of historical accuracy.

It rattles along at a rickety pace sufficient to distract younger kids with its knockabout slapstick. My advice would be to get lost before Tad unearths any more exploits.

ROMAN J. ISRAEL, ESQ.

Cert 12A 122mins Stars 2

Even though I’m a huge fan of two times Oscar winner Denzel Washington, I’m staggered he’s been nominated for his turn in this heavy-handed drama.

A spin on Dustin Hoffman’s character from 1988’s Rain Man, Washington plays plays the civil rights lawyer of the title, who is a savant with social difficulties.

Roman’s name is a broad clue to the films intent to offer a modern day parable, in which integrity and sacrifice can inspire ordinary people to achieve great change. 

There’s a hint of romance, uncomfortable moments of comedy and a brief foray into thriller territory.

Unconvinced and lacklustre throughout, it says a great deal about Hollywood if it imagines the world needs a lawyer to save it.

With Romans’ big hair, a bad suit and awkward social manner, I was distractedly reminded of Richard Ayoade’s character in TV sitcom, The IT Crowd. Which was always considerably more entertaining than this.

LIES WE TELL

Cert 15 110mins Stars 2

Despite some big names in the cast, there’s a lack of flair in all departments of this determinedly downbeat and dull urban drama.

And the novelty of seeing the city of Bradford on the big screen isn’t sufficient to recommend it.

Hollywood superstar Harvey Keitel must have been paid by the word for his brief appearance as Greek family man and billionaire businessman, Demi. 

Meanwhile Gabriel Byrne cuts a baleful figure as his loyal driver, drawn into the violent world of Demi’s beautiful British-Asian mistress, Amber.

She’s played by the hard working Australian actress Sibylla Deen who’s best known for her role in soap opera Home And Away. However along with much of the supporting cast, she typifies the TV production standards on show. Scriptwriter Ewen Glass previously worked on Hollyoaks.

Indian born and British-raised director Mitu Misra mixes arranged marriages, sexual abused and compromising videos into the plot, but never manages to generate any heat from his hot-button issues.

PHANTOM THREAD

Cert 15 130mins Stars 5

Prepare to be tied up in knots by the exquisite and twisted pleasures of this remarkable period melodrama.

Incurable bachelor Reynolds Woodcock is a 1950’s fashion designer to the super wealthy, who begins a poisonously passionate relationship with his latest young muse, Alma. 

Daniel Day-Lewis and Vicky Krieps are mesmerising, and their on-screen romance is refereed with arch imperiousness by Lesley Manville as Reynolds’ spinster sister. 

She’s deservedly Oscar nominated alongside Day-Lewis, but it’s a staggeringly unfair oversight the equally impressive Krieps hasn’t been recognised by the Academy.

The timing of Day-Lewis’ run to another possible Oscar for best actor, is as immaculate and precise as the fabulous dresses created by his character. It would be a record-breaking fourth victory.

A dapper and cruel monster of seductive grace and charm, Reynolds is capable of making the audience leap from their seats when he barks.

It’s a voice with lisping echoes of James Mason, the Brit actor who played the villain in Hitchcock’s North By North West and a predatory paedophile in Stanley Kubrick’s Lolita. Directors of huge influence here.

Reflecting Day-Lewis’ cadaverous appearance, there is no fat on this lean and sinuous affair which is far removed from cuddly Sunday night TV drama. It’s a shocking and intense tale of obsession, with alarming moments of humour.

Paul Thomas Anderson steered Day-Lewis to Oscar success in 2007’s oil epic, There Will Be Blood. He’s nominated for best director and picture, among six in total for his film.

Moving from the chilly north Yorkshire moors to the hard London interiors, Anderson fashions a world of stylish fetish and embroiders it in the manner of Alfred Hitchcock.

This disguises it’s macabre underpinning which is revealed with an outrageous final flourish.

I take Day-Lewis’ announcement of retirement with a large dose of salt, and as with all great divas he’s left me clamouring for more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

GOD’S OWN COUNTRY

Cert 15 Stars 4

With my family roots deep in the fertile of soil of the Yorkshire Moors, I was always going to be partial to seeing God’s own country on the big screen.

This remarkably assured and accomplished debut is one of the best British films of last year, and won the gong for Best Film at the British Independent films awards.

Described as a British Brokeback Mountain, it explores the growing relationship between a young farmer and a Romanian migrant worker.

With ambition transcending it’s low budget, this is as raw, uncompromising, honest and beautiful as the magnificent Yorkshire countryside setting.

ATTRACTION

Cert 12A 117mins Stars 3

There’s a breathless lack of subtlety in this teen sci-fi romance which sees a high school girl have a close encounter in down town Moscow.

Riffing on Romeo and Juliet, star crossed lovers see their worlds collide when a giant alien spaceship is shot down.

Russian TV star Irina Starshenbaum makes her big screen debut as our heroine Yulia, and Rinal Mukhametov plays the alien object of her affections.

Yulia is sweet, sarcastic and sparky, almost singlehandedly giving life to a startlingly unoriginal script. She’s also considerably sharper than her father, the much put upon colonel in charge of protecting civilians from aliens, and vice versa.

The poor bloke is on much surer ground dealing with the potential destruction of planet Earth than teenage hormones. 

An innovative production method maximises the minimal budget, providing decent CGI for a fraction of the usual Hollywood cost. Along Yulia’s fresh faced energy, they’re the biggest selling point of this big screen attraction.

 

I AM HEATH LEDGER

Cert 12 Stars 3

This sincere and respectable documentary serves as a reminder of the talent and charisma of Australian teen pin-up turned Oscar winning actor, Heath Ledger.

However it’s far from exhaustive and there are some notable omissions such as mother of his only child, actress Michelle Williams.

Having won his acting spurs and world wide acclaim for 2005’s Brokeback Mountain, he died aged only 28 in 2008, from an accidental intoxication from prescription drugs.

His posthumous awards victory came for a majestically feral performance in 2008’s Batman film, The Dark Knight. For millions of fans, he will always be the Joker.

 

 

 

REVOLT

Stars 2 Cert 15

There’s not much personality on show in this functional sci-fi thriller, which despite being only 83 minutes long is very keen on using slow motion. 

Lee Pace and Berenice Marlohe are the actors who have been parachuted in to save the weak script. He plays a soldier with no memory and she a doctor who can handle a gun.

They team up to save survivors from an alien invasion which has devastated humanity, and discover Jason Flymyng’s war photographer lying around.

Shot on location in South Africa, our sympathies lie mostly with the elephants.

HOSTILES

Cert 15 133mins Stars 3

Ride the wild frontier with Christian Bale as he stars in this solidly handsome yet creaking western.

The Welshman stars as Blocker, an exhausted shell of a cavalryman ordered to escort a Native American chief and his family from New Mexico to Montana. They are long time foes with unresolved grievances.

Along with him is Rosamund Pike’s grief stricken frontierswoman. Despite her demented dirt-scratching performance, her flawless complexion and perfect teeth are in distracting contrast to the admirably authentic production design.

Plus the casting of Brits is at odds with the insular nature of the film. For all it’s well staged gunfights in the epic landscape, the script speaks inwardly to the US about its violent history.

Writer, director and producer Scott Cooper’s previous films such as Black Mass and Out of the Furnace have similarly explored US economic and social division.

And the lack of humour and ponderous pace make this grand journey a belligerent experience for outsiders.

ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD

Cert 15 132mins Stars 5

Director Ridley Scott has made his Citizen Kane with this exceptional real life kidnap thriller.

Orson Welles’ 1941 masterpiece was a scorching evisceration of the soul-rotting nature of obscene wealth. And Scott follows in the maestro’s footsteps with this fascinating and enthralling portrait of oil magnate, J. Paul Getty.

When his grandson is kidnapped in Italy, the wealthiest man in the world refuses to pay the $17m ransom, a staggering sum in 1973. This leaves Getty’s estranged and penniless former daughter-in-law to try and negotiate her son’s release.

Michelle Williams is terrific as Gail and deservedly receives top billing.

Adverse headlines were generated when original star Kevin Spacey became embroiled in the Hollywood sexual assault scandal. Even though filming had finished, his part was hurriedly and successfully reshot with the veteran Christopher Plummer replacing him in the role of Getty.

And it’s impossible to imagine Spacey could have been better than Plummer, who delivers a monstrous and intriguingly sympathetic figure.

It’s also important to not to underestimate the strength of Mark Wahlberg’s performance as a former CIA operative, employed by Getty to assist Gail.

Fittingly there is Rolls Royce craftsmanship in all departments, and we’re swept elegantly along by Scott’s accomplished driving of the story.

He confidently sculpts a typically fabulous visual texture as he moves fluidly from the US to Africa and Europe.

There’s a fist in the mouth ear cutting scene to rival the infamous one from Quentin Tarrantino’s Reservoir Dogs. And Scott has the confidence to slow the pace to create tension as the tock clicks down.

Scott, Plummer and Williams have all received prestigious Golden Globe nominations and a run to the Academy Awards is in their sights. Scott may go one better than Welles and win a long coveted and deserved best director Oscar, and that’s something all the money in the world can’t buy.