Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children

Director: Tim Burton (2016) BBFC cert: 12A

Step inside the latest dark fantasy from the macabre mind of Tim Burton. Based on the best selling novel by Ransom Riggs, the director’s gothic sensibility has been fused with the superhero stylings of X-Men screenwriter Jane Goldman to create a clanking automaton of insufficient heart or electric thrills.

Whether this is an exhausted creative reaching for his reliable stock in trade ideas to get the job done or a potentially career fatal exercise in barrel scraping, Miss Peregrine’s Home makes for a great game of Tim Burton bingo.

There is a young lonely outsider of estranged parents, a kindly grandfather figure, suburbia is given its regular beating, pastel shades denote danger and sports are used as shorthand for idiocy, Visually there is elaborate topiary in the shape of dinosaurs, a scissor handed puppet is given life and a circus ring features in the finale. House!

The Birds (1963), Jason and the Argonauts (1963), Time Bandits (1981) and Brigadoon (1954) are among the many other films drawn upon for inspiration.

The plot is not so far away from any X-Men movie, honestly, pick any one you want. An outsider discovers a hidden school for specially gifted children ran by a powerful mentor. Nazi experiments in genetics are hinted at the cause of the ‘peculiars’ special powers.

Despite antagonism from some pupils he eventually joins forces in defending the school against their enemies. Along the way hidden talents are discovered and lessons of reaching ones full potential are received. The End.

Talented  and likeable Brit Asa Butterfield plays Jake, a modern 16-year old American teenager who visits Wales and discovers a time loop where it’s still 1943. Wales is a modern and forward looking country so I’ll not be making any cheap gags here. Despite being replaced on screen by Cornwall, Wales is made to look magical.

Hidden inside the time loop is Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children, where the never ageing pupils live the same day over again. Each child has their own peculiarity such as invisibility, great strength or pyrokinesis. Ella Purnell plays the angelic Emma who has to wear lead boots to stop her floating away.

Eva Green gives a wonderfully eccentric turn as the pipe smoking housemistress Miss Peregrine, a glamorous combination of Mary Poppins and Morticia Adams. As well as creating the time loop to protect her young charges from their fearful enemies, she can transform into a peregrine falcon and is a deadly shot with a crossbow.

Her home is only one of may such time protected hideaways and all are threatened by The Hollows, monsters lead by the evil Mr. Barron. With sharklike teeth and a white wig, Samuel L. Jackson matches Green’s performance and the film is energised by his belated appearance.

A bevy of English actors add their name to the film poster. Dame Judi Dench flies through her cameo, Rupert Everett sports binoculars and an alarming accent. Terence Stamp and Chris O’Dowd play Jake’s grandfather and father.

There’s plenty of handsomely designed spectacle adorned with a dash of romance and odd moments of black humour. Mike Higham provides the unmemorable score and the familiar strains of Burtons’ usual collaborator Danny Elfman, are missed.

But the big mystery is who this film is aimed at. Its eye eating villains are far too macabre for little ones and the sub-superhero adventure is too gentle for teens.

And true to its lengthy title, the storytelling is caged and never soars.

@ChrisHunneysett

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Analysis: Why Johnny Depp flopped with Mortdecai

Mortdecai, the new star vehicle for Johnny Depp has received poor reviews and is expected to bomb at the box office this weekend.

The camp caper centres around the adventures of a moustachioed aristocratic art dealer.

It co-stars Gywneth Paltrow,  Ewan McGregor and Paul Bettany – all great performers on their day in their own way – but none could be considered to be box office dynamite.

And nor any more is Depp.

With an A list celebrity status the one-time as the clown prince of the Indie circuit, the fifty-one year old actor is now best known for playing a pantomime pirate.

Last year his woeful $100 million sci–fi flick Transcendence took only $103m gross worldwide on a budget of $100 million.

Lets not forget the ahem, train wreck that was The Lone Ranger: $260m from a $215m budget.

Prior to those The Rum Diary took $24m on a $45m budget.

Those first figures are the global gross takings, for a clearer picture of how truly awful they are one must first deduct the cinemas 50% cut. Nor does the production include the global promotion costs which on The Lone Ranger was guesstimated to be $50m or so. ($30m is reckoned to be a more realistic figure for most films.)

So Production $260m plus promotion $50m multiplied by 2 (accounting for the cinema’s 50%) equals the break-even figue for The Lone Ranger. That’s $620m – well over half a billion dollars – against a $215m return.

Ouch.

But why has Depp’s Hollywood star dimmed so much?

Broadly speaking, when confronted by a dozen choices at the local multiplex, the over 40 crowd will choose a movie depending on who it stars e.g. George Clooney, Sandra Bullock or even Johnny Depp.

Whereas the under 30’s will head towards recognisable franchises; a Fast Furious film, a  Marvel superhero adventure or even a Pirates Of The Caribbean.

An Indie star with a small but loyal following, Depp hit the break-out blockbuster jackpot as Captain Jack Sparrow in the mainstream Pirates franchise.

But Depp’s ageing fan base isn’t sufficiently large enough to take a mega–budget film into profit by itself and younger cinema-goers don’t care about him or his non-franchise films.

So he has big success with Pirates but not so much with the The Tourist. That co-stared Angelina Jolie who has had spectacular success last year with Maleficent so it’s possible to imagine it was she not he who pulled in the punters for that one.

Depp’s only other recent films to make serious money are those directed by Tim Burton. And then only when based on a much loved book such Alice In Wonderland or Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

But look what happened to Burton’s Depp-starring remake of TV show Dark Shadows. 

Budget $150m plus $30m x2 = break-even of $360m. Worldwide gross was $246m.

Ouch again.

You have to go back ten long years for Depp’s last unqualified success that wasn’t a Pirates or a Burton film. That was 2004’s Finding Neverland, which yes, was based on a much loved book and co-starred Kate Winslet.

His starring roles immediately prior to that were Secret Window (2004) From Hell and Blow (both 2001) , all of which struggled to cover their costs – even on their mid-price budgets.

So it’s no real surprise that Mortdecai, a film with no existing franchise base, a familiar title or a big name director flops.

Depp has been great before, he’s been pretty good very recently, lets hope he can be great again.

But lets’s forget the silly moustache next time, eh Johnny?

All figures courtesy of Box Office Mojo