Keanu

Director: Peter Acencio (2016) BBFC cert 15

Murder and mayhem follow in the wake of a missing moggy in this entertaining action caper.

US TV stars Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key are the cat’s whiskers as lovesick stoner Rell and his overly sensible cousin, Clarence. Their good natured rapport energises the knockabout humour.

Peele co-wrote the script which generates a lot of comic mileage by sending up the LA gangster lifestyle and attitude. This allows for gratuitous nudity and plenty of pistol packing action.

Heartbroken Rell finds new meaning in life when he adopts a cute kitten which he names Keanu. But when a local gangster catnaps his furry friend, Rell and Clarence are forced to impersonate a pair of assassins to get him back.

Unfortunately as Keanu is such an adorable feline, he has more than one claim on his ownership. And everyone has guns. Despite the shoot outs, car chases, hard music, hard drugs and hard language, there’s a surprisingly sweet and law abiding heart at the centre of all the silliness.

So we’re treated to tattooed criminals emoting to the music of George Michael and a drug induced hallucination where Keanu Reeves voices his kitty namesake.

Tiffany Haddish is tough and tender as a gang member and Luis Guzman lends his weight to proceedings as a fearsome crime boss. Plus there’s a samurai sword wielding appearance by actress Anna Faris as herself.

★★★☆☆

@ChrisHunneysett

Ghostbusters (2016)

Director: Paul Feig (2016) BBFC cert 12A

This supernatural reboot rakes over the bones of the 1984 comedy classic but fails to scare up the fun.

 Being bravely recast with an all female team has resulted in a ferocious online furore. However this gender switching is nothing new to Hollywood, it worked super successfully for Rosalind Russell in screwball comedy His Girl Friday (1940) and you don’t have to go that far back for other examples. Last year Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) gave a turbo charged reboot to that ’80’s franchise by putting the women in the driving seat.

This is very funny and scary. But only for the first five minutes before the new team turn up. From then on it’s sadly an indulgent Melissa McCarthy vehicle loaded up with CGI to paper over the holes in the weak script.

This is very much her movie and on a par with her recent The Boss (2016) and less fun than the similarly spooky Jack Black caper Goosebumps (2016).

Once again New York is awash with ectoplasm and evil spirits as the apocalypse approaches and only the Ghostbusters team of paranormal investigators can prevent it.

McCarthy and Kristen Wiig star as scientists Abby and Erin. They go into business as paranormal investigators after losing their university jobs.

Pushed into the background, poor Kate McKinnon is forced to gurn for attention as Jillian, the inventor of the teams ghoul catching gadgets.

She’s given a dance scene, an action moment and a speech, and all are great. However they feel more like ‘a bit for the trailer’ or a guilty ‘we’d better give her something to do’ than organic character reveals. McKinnon is easily best in show and I wish she’d been put front and centre.

Leslie Jones is subway worker Patty who sees a ghost and inexplicably joins up. She shouts most of her lines, probably in order to get noticed. Enough has been said about the fact there are three white scientists and one black transport worker. This isn’t a result of malicious intent but a foolish and avoidable lack of script oversight.

The dull villain played by Neil Casey is a self proclaimed genius called Rowan. He’s a janitor who wants to bring forth the apocalypse as revenge on an uncaring world.

Despite some familiar locations, New York is curiously underpopulated and never seems like a living metropolis. This neuters a threat which is never set higher than Def Con Scooby Doo.

Given far more to do than his equivalent in the first film, Chris Hemsworth has a great time at our expense as a dimwitted secretary called Kevin. He’s employed on the basis he looks like Chris Hemsworth. This is fine but is one of many underdeveloped ideas.

Other wasted opportunities include the new Ghostmobile being a hearse and having a ghost chasing scene in a death metal concert. These are starting points not jokes in themselves and are left hanging, waiting for a punchline that never arrives.

Andy Garcia’s city mayor is a character in search of a purpose. He’s picked off the nostalgia shelf  in a tick box exercise to keep the fans happy.

This is an origin story of how the gang get together. In order to eke out some sentiment it fleshes out character backstory the first didn’t feel the need to possess.

One character muses why she joined the team. Never mind the supernatural stuff, this is the real mystery that is never explained.

There’s an unfunny running gag about Chinese food which has no purpose except to indulge McCarthy’s showboating and prolong her screen time.

If because of your attachment to the original film you’re pleased this isn’t a glowing review, then you’re an idiot. No material is safe from being resurrected, rebooted or recycled, no matter how precious it is to you personally.

Plus the deficit of female led high profile films in Hollywood needs to be addressed and I would have loved the opportunity to sing the praises of a great piece of work. My fear is this weak effort may stifle the production of other potential projects.

I enjoyed McCarthy and Feig’s Spy (2015) though Bridesmaids (2011) was over praised. If you thought those were hilarious you may enjoy Ghostbusters (2016) more than I did.

Lacking the sly wit of the original but borrowing the familiar logo, costumes, equipment, theme song, dialogue and story, this adds slapstick and feels like a collection of undercooked tribute sketches happy to coast on the personality of the performers.

Original cast members Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson and Annie Potts are among the cameos. But by the time Sigourney Weaver turns up, my interest had long since given up the ghost.

★★☆☆☆

@ChrisHunneysett

 

 

Maggie’s Plan

Director: Rebecca Miller (2016) BBFC cert. 15

The best laid plans of Greta Gerwig go awry in this New York comedy of manners.

As Maggie she is forever interfering in the lives of others and must learn restraint in order to find her own happiness.

She’s a sensible shoe wearing singleton who is ready to have a kid but lacks a boyfriend. Her scheme to inseminate herself via a sperm donor is interrupted by the appearance of John, a hunky academic.

This doesn’t endear Maggie to his wife Georgette and their kids. Ethan Hawke and Julianne Moore enjoy themselves as the feckless, self pitying, dishonest man child and his ferociously poised Danish wife.

The script gives John the anthropologist a forensic examination and finds the behaviour of this modern man severely wanting. But it also has the heart to allow the him at least a small measure of self respect.

Bill Hader and Maya Rudolph offer Maggie an alternative view of life as home truth dispensing best friends and Travis Fimmel is sweet as a lyrical pickle entrepreneur.

As a director Miller is in love with the city and it’s full of therapy, hipster beards, wooly hats, street entertainers, health food, ice skating and outdoor markets, but keeps its quirky mannerisms to a thankful minimum.

And her script obeys the rules of a romcom while functioning as a commentary on our atomised society, one which is indifferent to reducing conception to a mechanical process involving a syringe and a smart phone app.

Maggie’s Plan plays as an updated version of Jane Austen’s Emma filtered through Woody Allen, and is an honest, sharp and very funny look at modern life.

★★★★☆

@ChrisHunneysett

 

 

The Neon Demon

Director: Nicolas Winding Refn (2016) BBFC cert. 18

Catwalk models will kill to keep their place at the top of the fashion food chain in this boldly provocative and pale skinned horror show.

Taut performances combine with an uncompromising visual style which is underpinned by a techno score. The recurring presence of big cats and the slow glide of the camera create a sense of a victim being stalked.

There are images of bondage and an emphasis on reducing people to sinew, muscle, bone, hair and lipgloss.

Elle Fanning stars as ambitious model Jesse who arrives on the bitchy and backstabbing  LA fashion scene. She lives in a cheap motel whose seedy motel owner Hank is played by a brilliantly seedy Keanu Reeves.

Christina Hendricks previously appeared in Refn’s Drive (2011) is here as a modelling agent who archly dispenses euphemistic career advice. Abbey Lee and Bella Heathcote are conspiratorial and competitive fellow models.

In order to succeed Jesse chooses to immerse herself in the exploitative world of photographers, agents and make-up artists.

She adopts an emotional mask for protection from recurrent threats of rejection and rape. But this also creates a barrier to our sympathies and engagement.

Glossy and reflective surfaces reflects the empty narcissism of the LA inhabitants and the pristine environs suggest the sci-fi world of 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968).

The short shelf life of a models career recalls the limited timespan of the living mannequins of Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner (1982), as well as the youth obsessed society of Logan’s Run (1976).

Similar to its blank eyed protagonists, The Neon Demon obsesses over its own sleekly manicured surfaces, making it a film hard to get to grips with.

★★★☆☆

@ChrisHunneysett

The Legend of Tarzan

Director: David Yates (2016) BBFC cert. 12A

There’s no animal magic when the lord of the apes returns in this action adventure.

Now with over fifty movies plus TV series, cartoons and video games to his name, I’m not sure we need another, especially one this inconsistent, unconvincing and dull.

Set in 1886, the imperialist story of an infant English lord raised by gorillas has been refashioned as an anti-colonial and anti-slavery tale. Although the Africans are still forced to say stereotypical things such as ‘As is custom.’

Played by ripped Swede Alexander Skarsgard from TV’s True Blood, Tarzan has the speed of a lion, the agility of an ape, the endurance of an elephant and the charisma of a giraffe.

He can replicate the mating call of every jungle animal, so presumably his teenage years were interesting.

Now living in London as Lord Greystoke, he goes back to the Congo to investigate rumours of slavery by the beastly Belgians. Once there his local friends are captured, their village is burned and his glamorous wife Jane is kidnapped.

Margot Robbie does her best to give Jane some kick ass quality but basically exists to be rescued. Samuel L. Jackson tags along as comic relief and though their banter is woeful, he shares better chemistry and more screen time with Tarzan than Jane does.

Christoph Waltz plays an ambitious army Captain in cahoots with Djimon Hounso’s chief Mbonga. Neither are required to stretch themselves.

With the first ever Tarzan movie released in 1918, the oldest swinger in town is getting a little creaky.

The animated gorillas, alligators and elephants are noticeably below par for an expensive wannabee blockbuster franchise and director David Yates has an uphill struggle with a  lacklustre script.

He’s in charge of the Harry Potter prequel, Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them. It’s due in November and you’ll not discover any such creatures here.

★★☆☆☆

@ChrisHunneysett

 

Colonia

Director: Florian Gallenberger (2016)

This handsome historical prison drama is shackled by weak dialogue, a pedestrian pace and an unconvincing central relationship.

Emma Watson and Daniel Bruhl play Lena and Daniel, a fictional couple caught up in General Pinochet’s military coup of Chile in 1973.

The force of history rests heavy on Watson’s slender shoulders, weighing down a performance which is far from her strongest.

When political activist Daniel is arrested and sent to a remote charitable mission ran by a cult, flight attendant Lena infiltrates the camp ‘Colonia Dignidad’ to rescue him.

It’s the personal fiefdom of a messianic and abusive leader who uses physical and psychological torture to keep his followers in line.

Although staged on an impressive scale it, the finale descends into silliness as door slamming trolly dollies defy the mass ranks of the Chilean army.

★★☆☆☆

@ChrisHunneysett

 

 

 

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

Director: Mandie Fletcher (2016)

Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley stagger into cinemas in the big screen version of their little lamented TV show.

It’s smug, self regarding, laboured, rushed, cheap and never funny.

The pair star as champagne swilling, cash strapped, celeb haunting idiots Edina and Patsy, an obnoxious PR guru and her bessie mate magazine editor.

The characters started life as a sketch on The French And Saunders Show (1990). A sitcom series was commissioned for the BBC and ran for three series from 1992 to 1995, with intermittent specials through to 2012.

Within the first five minutes the loathsome pair have interrupted a fashion show and fallen drunk out of a taxi. So normal service is resumed.

The cackling, snorting duo cause a mini media storm when Edina accidentally pushes Kate Moss off a wall and into the Thames.

With the model presumed dead, Edina and Patsy head to Cannes to escape the media furore and find a rich husband or two.

Attempts at giving Edina some depth are laughable, but not in a good way.

Series regulars Julia Sawalha, June Whitfield, Jane Horrocks are pressed back into action for little effect, except perhaps for offering moral support to Saunders who also wrote the script.

Neither the writing and performances have aged well. Jokes involve people walking into walls, wearing funny outfits and swearing.

Adding stale references to twitter, tazers and vaping fail to freshen the air of desperation which hangs over this sorry exercise in sycophantic snivelling to the fashion industry.

There’s a legion of cameos such as Stella McCartney, Alexa Chung, Sadie Frost and Suki Waterhouse. The inclusion of people like this should be the punchline of jokes. They shouldn’t be feted for turning up and being themselves.

Fans of the show may possibly find something to enjoy but for everyone else it’s a witless, wretched waste of time and energy. Especially mine.

★☆☆☆☆

@ChrisHunneysett

 

Central Intelligence

Director: Rawson Marshall Thurber (2016)

In every sense the world’s biggest movie star, Dwayne Johnson’s huge charisma, charm and frame dominates this entertaining action comedy.

As a rogue CIA agent Robbie Weirdich, Johnson is like Jason Bourne on comedy steroids, combining a tremendous sense of goofy fun with the ability to fight his way out of a kitchen using only a banana.

The name of the character name is a pointer to the sophistication of the film’s humour.

Robbie is framed for the death of his partner and so lands unexpectedly on the doorstep of Calvin, his erstwhile best friend from high school.

Squeaky voiced comic Kevin Hart is refreshingly restrained and occasionally even funny as Calvin.

In order to accommodate the pneumatic presence of Johnson, Hart is squeezed into a rare straight man role. Although rarely allowed to ad lib in his usual shouty style, whenever Hart wriggles free the film stalls.

Once the king of the high school prom and predicted for greatness, Calvin is now a dull accountant and is having difficulties at home. Danielle Nicolet is sweetly concerned as his beautiful wife, Maggie.

Calvin reluctantly teams up with his erstwhile buddy to attempt to recover some military files while being pursued by the CIA.

Through all the chases, fights, escapes, interrogation, torture and some terrifying relationship therapy, it’s the strong comic rapport between the leads which keeps us engaged.

Amy Ryan is keeps a straight face as an icy CIA chief, Aaron Paul makes an impression in a small role and Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy cameo.

The story is predictable but Central Intelligence blasts along with a fun energy, decent stunts and some surprisingly violent action. Though not an over abundance of intelligence.

★★★☆☆

@ChrisHunneysett

 

 

 

 

 

Notes On Blindness

Director: Pete Middleton, James Spinney (2016)

This deliberately dreamlike documentary is an elegy to Professor John Hull who in his forties went totally blind.

Steering away from exploring how society deals with sufferers of this disability, it’s a deeply personal account skilfully stitched together from his audiocassette dairies.

These helped him understand his condition and in his words ‘retain the fullness of his humanity’.

Actors enact scenes from his life and lip synch to his family’s recorded voices. His daughter adds welcome moments of brevity.

To convey how John feels the world we see myriad textures of grass, stone, wood, leather and plastic. Vivid nightmares are recreated to represent his periodical depressions which are most aggressive at Christmas.

John muses on the nature of visual memory and how it relies on constant stimulation to maintain itself. Scenes of rainstorms inside his house offer echoes of Christopher Nolan’s Inception (2010), itself an essay on the power of perception and memory.

Finding beauty in the sound of the rain and retaining his Christian faith, John comes to view his blindness as a gift from god and immediately raises the question of what to do with it.

With tremendous dignity and grace under pressure, a stubbornly thoughtful and quietly inspiring figure is gradually revealed.

★★★☆☆

@ChrisHunneysett

Suburra

Director: Stefano Sollima (2016)

This stylish and epic thriller is a lurid neon vision of modern Italy drenched in the traditional local virtues of ambition, power and corruption.

It’s covers fictional events in the five days prior to the real life resignation of Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in the midst of a national debt crisis 12 November 2011.

The overdose of an underage prostitute threatens to derail a lucrative land deal and results in a bloody gang war.

Politicians, businessman and mobsters become involved in kidnap, blackmail, murder and a shoot out in a shopping mall.

Filippo Malgradi’s corrupt politician, Elio Germano cowardly pimp, Giulia Elettra Gorietti’s hooker, Greta Scarano’s junkie and Claudio Amendola’s enforcer are some of the memorable characters in this brutal, sexy and skilfully told tale.

★★★★☆

@ChrisHunneysett