Kate Hudson

Mother’s Day

Director: Garry Marshall (2016)

I haven’t quite recovered my will to live after suffering this irredeemably awful comedy drama.

Along with Valentine’s Day (2010) and New Year’s Eve (2011), it’s the third in a trilogy of wasted talent. Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston are the notable victims this time round.

None of the films are related except in being based around a particular date and involving an absence of entertainment for the audience.

Similarly this features a pitiful parade of self obsessed souls vaguely connected by unlikely coincidences.

Mother’s Day is approaching and Aniston’s divorcee is arguing with her newly remarried ex about custody of their kids on the big day. Intimidated by their hot young step mum, Sandy has joined a gym.

It’s ran by a widower who is struggling to raise his kids. Jason Sudeikis is wildly miscast as the former marine master sergeant.

In an astonishingly misjudged attempt at inclusiveness, Kate Hudson’s racist redneck parents are unaware of her mixed race marriage and their other daughter is gay.

Unfunny British stand up comic Jack Whitehall is suitably cast as an unfunny British stand up comic. His girlfriend with whom he has a baby is reluctant to marry him. Clever girl.

It’s directed for want of a better description, by Garry Marshall, the person who helped propel Roberts to stardom in the superior in every way Pretty Woman (1990).

This feels like a big screen adaption of a much loathed TV show mistakenly released in to cinemas instead of being buried at midnight in an unmarked show business grave.

With nothing but contempt for its audience, this cheap looking collection of mawkish  platitudes is shabbily conceived, woefully written and shoddily edited.

Plus it features the worst game of ‘soccer’ ever committed to celluloid.

Mother’s Day is rare for being a female dominated movie headlined by two performers nearing 50 years old and supported by a third approaching 40.

This is exactly the sort of highly visible roles for older actresses which the industry, audiences and critics bemoan the lack of. The tragedy is in being an appallingly poor piece of work in which to showcase their talents.

Aniston and Roberts deliver typically professional performances of charm and warmth and no blame for this disaster can be landed at their feet. Their agents may need to carefully consider their futures.

While Roberts can look to her Oscar win for Erin Brockovich (2000) for consolation, Aniston’s search for a film role worthy of her talent continues.

Roberts was reportedly paid $3 million for four days work for her role as television shopping channel host. I should have been paid at least as much for watching.

Easily the worst film of 2016.

★☆☆☆☆

@ChrisHunneysett

 

Rock The Kasbah

Director: Barry Levinson (2016)

A TV singing contestant tries to win hearts and minds in this confused and incompetent comedy.

It seems to have been began as a satire on American military abroad, retooled as a feel good celebration of the rise of Afghani feminism and sold as a wacky Bill Murray adventure.

Director Levinson has form with this sort of material. He directed Robin Williams’ energetic and mawkish turn as a wartime DJ in Good Morning Vietnam (1987). He’s also helmed the great satire Wag The Dog (1997).

Rock The Kasbah isn’t laugh out funny but amiable, well intentioned and has some enjoyable performances.

Murray stars as untrustworthy has-been rock manager Richie Lanz.

Offering flashes of his signature cynical charm,  the former Ghostbusters star is always watchable, even if a patchy script relies too heavily on his ad libbing.

Israeli actress Leem Lubany does as well as anyone could in the central if limited role of  Salima, a young singer risking dishonour and death by challenging the traditional role of women in a male dominated society.

Kate Hudson brings a sexy savvy to the thankless role of hooker turned business partner and lover of Richie.

And Danny McBride and Scott Caan are a likeable double act as black market munitions salesmen.

Playing a mercenary called Bombay  Brian, Bruce Willis seems to be there just to play with guns and seems to have wandered in from another movie.

Desperate to pay the bills, Richie takes his only client Ronnie – played by a Zooey Deschanel – on a tour of Afghanistan.

Suffering pre-gig nerves, Ronnie abandons Richie in Kabul, taking his passport and money with her.

While selling ammunition to friendly penniless tribesmen in a bid to raise the cash to get home, Richie  he discovers the beautiful Salima singing in a cave.

Richie signs her up and enters her into Afghanistan’s version of American Idol.

Rock The Kasbah is so clumsily constructed even its title is geographically inaccurate. And disappointingly the anthemic Clash song from which it presumably takes its name is never played.

★★☆☆☆

Kung Fu Panda 3

Director: Jennifer Yuh Nelson & Alessandro Carloni (2016)

It’s re-enter the dragon warrior as martial arts most portly practitioner returns in his third animated action adventure.

Drawn on a spectacular epic canvas it combines a light hearted tone with a serious message about responsibility, family and achieving one’s potential.

There’s plenty of silly slapstick but no major laughs, relying heavily on the exuberance of Jack Black as Po, the reluctant hero panda of the title.

At home in the Valley of Peace, Po is reunited with Li Shan, his long lost biological dad, played by Bryan Cranston.

J.K. Simmons voices Kai, a giant ox like supreme warlord who’s returned from the spirit world and intent on stealing the everyone’s life force.

With his friends incapacitated, Po the former pupil must become a master and train up some wannabe karate kids to help defeat Kai.

If you enjoyed the first two then this will definitely err, panda to your taste.

 

 

 

Good People

Director: Henrik Ruben Genz (2015)

Temptation brings danger to a struggling young couple in this silly and dingy thriller.

Americans Tom and Anna are the good people making a fresh start in London after suffering a domestic tragedy. They’re neither especially bright nor particularly likeable.

Though we’re told they’ve been together for a long time, there’s an unfortunate lack of chemistry between James Franco and Kate Hudson in the lead roles.

Having inherited Tom’s grandmother’s large house, they’ve accumulated large debts trying to renovate it.

When they discover £220,000 of much needed cash in the flat of dead neighbour, they can’t resist helping themselves.

Danish director Gnez has his cinematographer Jorgen Johansson dress the city in the gloom typical of Scandinavian noir, adding an extra layer of dreariness to proceedings.

The moral question of taking the money is quickly glossed over as the plot descends into bloody, predictable, tension-free violence. It occasionally strays unintentionally close to farce.

Tom Wilkinson plays a grieving cop chasing Sam Spruell’s villain who is trying to recover his stolen drugs money.

As Omar Sy wanders through as an urbane Frenchman trying to muscle in on the London heroin trade, the always engaging Anna Friel is wasted in a role requiring her to cradle a baby, squeal at a washing machine and perch precariously up a ladder.

As threats are issued, hands broken and furniture is destroyed, nail guns and snooker cues are put to use which probably affect their warranty.

★★☆☆☆