MEN IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL

Cert 12A 114mins Stars 3

This big budget sci-fi action comedy sequel to Will Smith’s 1990’s blockbuster trilogy offers plenty of glossy CGI action but is surprisingly a little beige beneath the surface.

Fresh from starring in mega Marvel superhero smash, Avengers: Endgame, Chris ‘Thor’ Hemsworth and Tessa ‘Valkyrie’ Thompson step into shoes of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones as galaxy defending secret agents.

They’re armed with memory altering gizmos, lots of shiny laser weapons and of course the essential black sunglasses, as they encounter lots of small, cute aliens, plenty of large, tentacled, angry ones, and those that change from one to another.

Star of the show  is the warm and watchable Tessa Thompson, who plays a computer hacker recruited by Emma Thompson’s boss of the Men In Black organisation, and given the codename, Agent M.

She’s sent to London to team with Hemsworth’s agent H, where the duo’s mission to protect an alien dignitary goes horribly wrong.

A mole is suspected in the MIB, and the most powerful weapon in the universe is being sought by a species of warmongering aliens, the Hive.

Very much written as a spy caper, it merrily riffs on the world of superspy James Bond with Hemsworth very knowingly playing the hard-drinking womaniser as comically arrogant, reckless, a bit dim and vaguely inept.

And it’s complete with glamorous international locations, flash cars, gadgets, and a beautiful femme fatale in the shape of Rebecca Ferguson’s intergalactic arms dealer. Plus Kumail Nanjiani adds a lot of humour voicing a pint-sized alien called Pawny.

F. Gary Gray directed 2017’s eighth instalment of the Fast and the Furious franchise, and despite rocketing his cast about the globe he can’t get the pace here up to a similar speed.

Will Smith’s swagger is a big miss and script should be sharper, but the natural easy chemistry of its attractive stars prevent the film from crashing to Earth.

 

X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX

Cert 12A 113mins Stars 2

This final episode in the long running live action comic book superhero series fails to finish in a blaze of glory, and instead flames out in a CGI puff of indifference.

Set mostly in 1992 it stars a willing Sophie Turner as young superhero Jean Grey, who along with fellow X-Men team members, is involved in a deep space rescue of a space shuttle.

She’s exposed to a solar flare which gives an immeasurable boost to her mind-reading telepathic and ground-shaking telekinetic powers, but back on Earth she struggles to control her enhanced abilities.

Soon she’s being pursued by two competing groups of X-Men, the US military, and a band of homeless alien shape-shifters lead by Jessica Chastain. It’s alarming and dispiriting to see an actress of her quality slog through CGI landscapes and grossly functional dialogue and direction with such grim determination.

Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult don’t fare any better as blue skinned mutants, while James McAvoy’s bald and brainy Professor X, and Michael Fassbender’s anti-hero Magneto, are rolled out once more to read minds and bend metal.

Given an eight year head start on rival superhero franchise, the Avengers, but with ten fewer films under its belt, the X-Men series suffers from previous creative decisions resulting in a confused and contradictory patchwork of cast changes, multiple timelines and repetitive narratives.

This twelfth X-Men yarn is a sombre and plodding retread of the series’ 2006 third instalment, X-Men: The Last Stand, and feels at all times like a rehashed greatest hits package of uninspired action scenes.

Sorely missing the fan-pleasing muscle of Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine, at least we should be grateful this repeat adventure doesn’t see former football Vinnie Jones reprise his role as the super-villain, Juggernaut.

‘Nobody cares anymore’ exclaims Fassbender at one point. It’s as if he can read my mind.

 

ALADDIN (2019)

Cert PG 128 mins Stars 4

Will Smith unleashes his magic charm in Disney’s confident, colourful and crowd-pleasing live action remake of their 1992 classic Oscar winning musical animation.

Hollywood’s once biggest star delivers a larger than life performance as the giant magic genie of the lamp, and burns charisma, warmth and heartfelt maturity in the role originally played by the comic, Robin Williams.

The story very closely follows the original, with street thief Aladdin teaming up with a genie to win the heart of the princess Jasmine and help save the desert kingdom of Agrabah from the unfettered ambition of Marwan Kenzari’s villainous vizier, Jafar.

Unlike Tim Burton’s lumbering Dumbo remake, this is full of fun, excitement and of course glorious songs, with fresh sparkle given to the diamond tunes of ‘Friend Like Me’ and ‘A Whole New World’, with ‘Prince Ali’ is delivered in grand show-stopping style.

Mena Massoud is an earnest and endearing romantic lead as Aladdin, and is game for the thankless task of playing the straight man to not just Smith and the rest of the human cast, but a flying carpet and the adorable monkey, Abu.

I wish his opposite number Naomi Scott, had more to do as Jasmine, but she makes the most of her screen time with constant bridling at the constraints of her gilded cage existence in a star-making performance.

She has enjoyable chemistry with Nasim Pedrad’s handmaiden and knocks her solo song out of the park. ‘Speechless’ is one of two new numbers, and is an assertive anthem about challenging authority which Scott delivers with impressively fierce defiance.

Director Guy Ritchie desperate for a hit as his last box office success was nearly a decade ago, with the second of his and Robert Downey, Jr.’s Sherlock Holmes adventures, so it’s  a canny movie to style the climax in the CGI manner of a Marvel superhero film.

This rarely feels like a Ritchie movie and whether you consider that a good thing, he’s certainly put a shift in with this huge production, which sees him successfully negotiate the different demands of action, romance, comedy, special effects and big song and dance numbers.

The two eight year olds I took to the screening had a great time even though they aren’t familiar with the original animated version, or with Smith’s lengthy TV, music or movie career, and he’s certainly won two new fans of the next generation.

And as Smith swaggers into silver screen musical theatre, it’s great to see the Fresh Prince discover a whole new jam.

THE OLD MAN AND THE GUN

Cert 12A 92mins Stars 4

Hollywood legend Robert Redford pulls the curtain down on his long acting career with this wonderfully warm and spirited character-driven comedy drama.

The remarkable tale of a real life career criminal, it’s a deft, funny and surprisingly life affirming caper which is every bit as smart and accomplished as its star.

Redford plays bank robber Forrest Tucker, the dapper leader of a team of geriatric bank robbers who the media nickname, ‘The Over the Hill Gang’, after they go on a courteous spree of low-tech bank heists across five US states.

They’re slowly pursued by Casey Affleck’s hangdog detective cop who is determined to catch the thieves after letting them slip though his fingers.

And a luminous Sissy Spacek shares a marvellous sparkly chemistry with Redford as a horse whispering widow who catches Tucker’s eye.

Director David Lowery previously made the Disney terrific live-action 2016 remake of Pete’s Dragon in which Redford had a minor role.

As camera moves and jazz score offer reminders of Redford’s 1970’s heyday, the tone of nostalgic lament deliberately echoes that of 1969’s Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

The cowboy classic saw Redford in his most enjoyable and best remembered role as a gunslinging outlaw alongside Paul Newman, and Tucker is clearly intended as a septuagenarian spin on the Sundance Kid. 

Occasionally if understandably indulgent with many other nods and winks to Redford’s prestigious career, this misty-eyed eulogy offers an explanation as to why he first took to acting and then stuck with it.

The tremendous supporting cast includes Danny Glover, Tom Waits, Elisabeth Moss, Keith Carradine, Tika Sumpter and John David Washington – but it’s Redford’s show all the way.

They don’t make films like this or film stars like him anymore, and it’s all credit to Redford that after an astonishing career of nearly sixty years, the Kid leaves us crying out for more.

 

MORTAL ENGINES

Cert 12A 128mins Stars 3

The latest blockbuster from the makers of The Lord of the Rings trilogy is surprisingly clunky and run of the mill as it rumbles across the big screen.

Adapted from a series of books by Brit author Philip Reeve with tremendous design and faultless CGI, it’s a steampunk sci-fi fantasy epic set 1000 years into the future on an apocalyptic Earth.

European cities are now ginormous armoured vehicles which prey on smaller mechanical towns for scarce materials such as fuel and salt.

However this inspired premise is crushed beneath the wheels of the misfiring storytelling which has clanking dialogue and no sense of time or distance while the comedy and romance barely register.

Icelandic actress Hera Hilmar does her best as an orphaned outcast intent on murdering Hugo Weaving’s duplicitous patrician, while he’ll stop at nothing to drive London to a brighter future.

Despite the actors determined efforts to provide emotional fuel, they’re too often squandered as grist for the towering spectacle.

AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS

Cert 15 86mins Stars 3

A fractious family Christmas becomes a bloody nightmare of intolerance and violence in this low budget British sci-fi horror which is an imaginative spin on TV’s Big Brother.

Sam Gittens and Neerja Naik star as Nick and Annji, who wake up to find themselves trapped by a mysterious hard black substance which has coated the outside of his parents’ unassuming house .

Though the clocks, phones and internet have stopped working, the TV starts broadcasting instructions which become increasingly less benign, with the captives assigned tasks, provided with props and punished with severe penalties for infringing of the rules.

Among the squabbling, panic and bravado of a mostly unsympathetic bunch of characters, there are occasional flashes of humour in the increasingly nightmarish activities.

The script twists the format of reality TV shows to examine our relationship to religion and the mass media, giving us an ending which sends out an agreeably grisly, condemnatory and satisfactory signal to us all.

 

 

 

SMALLFOOT

Cert U Stars 3

Discover the secret life of the yeti in this warm-natured animated family adventure based on a book by the creator of the Despicable Me franchise.

Channing Tatum voices Migo, a member of a Bigfoot tribe who live in peaceful isolation in a mountain above the cloud line.

After falling out with the village elder, Migo is banished and meets a supposedly mythical Smallfoot, that is a human.

Percy is a video blogging naturalist voiced by James Corden, and in portraying a character conflicted between his integrity and achieving huge internet ratings, the Carpool Karaoke crooner proves he is indeed a great actor.

Pop star Zendaya plays Migo’s love interest, and contributes a couple of tunes which could have come from her previous film, The Greatest Showman.

Their hair-raising escapades are fast-paced and carry a message of openness and honesty, and though there’s not enough of the Wile E. Coyote-style slapstick, it’s a lot of amiable fun for the kids.

JULIET, NAKED

Cert 15 Stars 3

This soggy British seaside comedy drama is too content to coast on the considerable charm of its stars instead of pushing out the boat of its ambition.

It’s based on Nick Hornby’s 2009 novel, and film adaptations of his work are a mixed bag. 2000’s High Fidelity is brilliant, 2014’s A Long Way Down is execrable, and this one somewhere in the middle.

Rose Byrne’s art curator lives unhappily with Chris O’Dowd’s pathetic film studies lecturer, who is obsessed with Ethan Hawke’s reclusive rockstar.

Hero worship and human failings collide when the musician turns up in the fictional town of Sandcliffe, in reality picturesque Broadstairs, in Kent.

With some nice observations and a lot of wistful regret, it covers familiar Hornby ground such as men burying themselves in pop culture minutiae as a substitute for emotional engagement.

The scene with the most bite takes place in a hospital cardiac ward, but sadly no-one will die laughing at this.

 

PETERLOO

Cert 12A Stars 3

Director Mike Leigh takes a blunderbuss to a historical slaughter and kills the drama stone dead in this sincere and serious epic which is devoid of subtlety.

A period companion piece to his superior 2014 Oscar-nominated biopic of the 19th century artist, JMW Turner, this centres on the Peterloo massacre of Monday August 16, 1819, when 60,000 people gathered peacefully in Manchester to demand Parliamentary reform and voting rights.

And in one of the most infamous acts of violence committed by the country against its own people, families were charged down by British cavalry, leading to hundreds of injured and fifteen deaths.

It’s a long wait for the grandly staged and suitably shocking sequence, and too much of what precedes too often feels like a heavy-handed history lecture with too little thought given to entertainment.

There are multitude of people milling about and seemingly all of them get to proclaim their political position, and at bum-numbing length. 

The closest we have to a lead character is Joseph, a PTSD-suffering infantryman who we follow from the battlefield of Waterloo in 1815, to his home town where he witnesses more carnage.

Joseph is a great example of how Leigh values dramatic irony over melodrama, spectacle and appealing characters.

And with barely a dark satanic mills in sight we’re told why the masses are crying ‘liberty or death’, but we never see or feel it.

However Leigh is good at showing how historical events are extraordinary messy affairs, full of competing egos, factions and agendas.

It’s suggested we don’t have to look far to find contemporary parallels of violent state oppression or blustering self-important politicians, but Leigh caricatures the upper-classes so broadly it undermines any intention to condemn them. 

Peterloo is a moment of British historical significance which will benefit from being far more widely known, but also one which deserves a far more compelling account.

 

 

THE NUTCRACKER AND THE FOUR REALMS

Cert PG Stars 4

This live-action coming-of-age fantasy adventure is exciting, lavish, sentimental and sweet in Disney’s best tradition and should beguile its target audience of young girls.

It’s inspired by the book on which Tchaikovsky based his famous ballet score, and though there’s judicious use of his glorious music, this owes far more to The Wizard of Oz, The Chronicles of Narnia, and David Bowie’s Labyrinth.

Best known from the Twilight franchise, young Mackenzie Foy is an endearing science-loving heroine called Clara. On Christmas Eve at a grand ball she receives an intricate mechanical egg, bequeathed from her late mother.

Searching for a key to unlock her gift, Clara enters a magical world and discovers she’s a princess who must save three realms from the fourth dark one, the Land of Amusements. 

Accompanied by Jayden Fowora-Knight’s dashing Nutcracker, Clara encounters an army of life-size tin soldiers, a fearsome Mouse King, and Helen Mirren in whip-cracking form as a wicked witch called Mother Ginger. Smug posh comic, Jack Whitehall, has a thankfully very minor role as a fawning sentry.

Keira Knightley is a delicious delight who rules the film as the breathy-voiced Sugar Plum Fairy, having the time of her life in a performance and supercharges proceedings whenever she appears. 

Along with everyone else she wears fabulous costumes by Brit Oscar winning designer, Jenny Beavan, which are perfectly suited to the eye-popping and brightly coloured chocolate box set-design.

Two directors are credited and occasionally there are small indicators dance scenes have been retooled to suit a more conventional storytelling style and a crowd-pleasing framework.

Disney have been surprisingly low key about this film which is a shame as it deserves a big sell, but presumably they’ve occupied by the upcoming box office juggernaut, Mary Poppins Returns, as it rumbles up the track for Christmas.

In the meantime this is a lovely early treat which will enchant your little princess.